New year's eve is coming up soon... Time to hang out with family and light off some fireworks! I love playing with fire. It will be great to see my in-laws (which I DO get along with) that I haven't seen in a few months. Plus they live way out in the boondocks (<-cool word) which is great to get away from it all for a few days.

I can't help but feel that God's doing something in the background somewhere, but I don't know what it is yet. Almost like the calm before the storm. My Dad and Theresa are leaving to go to Italy for 3 years some time next month, so that will be interesting. I know God will grow me through the experience, because it is really going to suck until I learn to depend on God and trust Him at His word. Just being real. Family leaving hits you hard. But God is already putting people around me to encourage me.

I am so glad I'm not in vocational ministry yet... I feel like I know so little. There's so many opinions and interpretations and controversy and stuff going on that I'm pretty sure God's using to show me and a bunch of others what is essential and what is not.

I am blown away that God chose me, knowing everything about me. Anything good you see in my life is because of Him. The more I think about what He's done in my life, the more I want others to know Him.

Wow, I feel like crap today. I just thought you'd like to know. I'm getting too old apparently, since I get all run down when I stay up late a couple of nights in a row.

Yesterday morning was interesting because our alarm didn't go off and I didn't make it to church until 11am, just in time for Fuel (sunday school). We served in the nursery last night, which was a lot of fun. It's really mind-boggling sometimes how every time something special is going on, we're scheduled to serve in the nursery. But we were needed pretty badly last night, because a lot of people are sick and they called and cancelled. So I'm glad God provided an opportunity for us to be used by Him.

I thank God for Christian friends that can get together and talk about issues.

Last night I went to two discussion groups- one with Dan Nelson at church and one at JR's house. I was so excited about both, considering the issues that have been coming up lately about culture and what the church's purpose is. All of my questions weren't answered, but I have seen that it's very possible for people to have a passion for following Jesus and approach it in very different ways. We talked about Rob Bell's book Velvet Elvis, which I absolutely have to read- it sounds awesome! Also we talked about Confessions of a Reformission Rev by Mark Driscoll, which I will read also. I enjoy looking at different perspectives. I'm prepared to disagree with things they write, but I have already read a book I disagree with parts of (the Irresistible Revolution), but I got a lot of insights out of that book that I would have missed out on.

Last night was amazing. It was the last wednesday night worship service in H20. The climax of the year, so to speak. Of course, being the Christmas season, we played Carol of the Bells. Not the mamby-pamby, mama's boy version, but a version similar to that of Trans-Siberian Orchestra, a heavy metal version. Personally, the lead guitar part was super challenging and, quite honestly, a bit out of my league. The circumstances surrounding this night were interesting, considering this would be the first time we had practiced this song as a band (with Brent). Practice was very frustrating, and it was apparent everyone was a little on edge, with the possible exception of Justin, who is hardly ever fazed by anything. I think he was thinking about his new girlfriend, but that's nothing but speculation. Anyway I digress.

We finished practice about 6:15pm, and it was a tense and discouraging time for many of us. God began to impress upon me strongly that we needed to pray as a band. I rounded everyone up and we all got in a circle to pray. Even Jeff was in a weird mood and wasn't wanting to lead us in prayer, so I did. Then we all went our separate ways to pray individually. And I really prayed. I have such a short attention span sometimes during prayer, I just get to thinking about other things. But not this time. It was real, honest, sincere prayer, desiring God to move in an incredible way. Based on recent times, I can't call myself a man of prayer. But I got it right last night. I was butchering the lead guitar part in practice, but it went amazingly, and I was blown away watching my fingers hit the notes on the guitar. God answered my prayer. The set went really well. To God be the glory.

It was interesting that J.R. talked about prayer last night too... I guess I have no other choice but to accept that God was teaching me about prayer last night in two different ways.

On a side note, it is very interesting to be in the midst of a debate about how Christians should present the gospel to the people around them. Apparently it's getting pretty heated, considering J.R. has taken a lot of heat for the one he posted yesterday about this. Apparently, we need to use the same traditions and methods for reaching the lost as we did in 1836. Anyone who feels differently is apparently "loving the world." God help us.

I wish I could put a title on this blog. If I could, it would be "Fitting in." Anyone who knows how to do this send me a message.

I saw an interesting thing last night while watching tv. Maybe you could characterize me as a "late night flipper." I get in these weird moods every once in a while and flip aimlessly through the channels late at night. I saw this semi-documentary thing on MTV called "True Life." It's a show that documents peoples' lives that fit under a certain theme. The first one I saw was called, "I don't fit in." There was one guy who was a glam rocker, who basically wore girl pants, high heels, a pink scarf, and poofed out hair all in the name of rock n roll (very interesting..). Another girl was contemplating joining a convent (a house or building where a bunch of Catholic nuns live together) and was going to have to give up her friends and dating. Another girl was the only black girl (this is the term she used) in this small community in Pennsylvania and she felt ashamed for her skin color. Three really interesting situations.

Watching this got me thinking about fitting in, and about people. There are so many people who feel lonely or feel like they have no real place in society or no real friends or no group to belong to. I remember all too well what that felt like. I was the nerdy awkward guy you used to pick on in school. My heart goes out to everyone everywhere who is feeling this way. I wish there was some way to communicate to everyone that Jesus can heal their broken heart. The church in many ways has become a place where certain people don't belong. To represent a God who welcomes everyone as they are and create a church environment that everyone can't feel welcome in is terrible. Sometimes we convince ourselves that some people don't want to be saved, but we are wrong. If everyone really knew what being welcomed into God's family was like, they would come running. Instead, they look at the lives of us Christians and see no difference. People everywhere are longing for the peace we have.

If you notice, people of all colors, ages, and social backgrounds can come together through Jesus. If you share a common bond in Him, you can have a lot in common with someone after only meeting them for the first time.

God help us as the church, the body of Christ, to welcome everyone to a place where they can find grace.

Well, the whole ring-buying event was interesting. I was determined to "wheel and deal" my way to a low price using a few choice tactics such as paying cash and price comparisons between 2 different stores. I guess I got a little full of myself, because God sort of taught me a lesson. I was superconfident that I would be able to do it, and looking back I guess that was something I was trying to do in the flesh, which makes my failure make sense. The reason everything went haywire is because there was only ONE place that had the specific ring Brooke was looking for, so there was no way to fulfill my evil plan for world domination.. um.. I mean my plans to get a lower price. (Wow, I'm nuts.) So we didn't get the price we were looking for, but I praise God that we were able to just buy it and not put it on credit which would put us into debt. Interestingly enough, the last time I tried to get credit for a ring I was declined, which makes me wonder what the qualification process is. She is going to pick up the ring today, and I'm sure I'll be getting an ecstatic call this afternoon about it.

I also wanted to say that H20 last night was interesting, considering someone called out "Yee haw!" during our rendition of "Everything Glorious" by David Crowder, and J.R. was so sick we (the band) were on emergency alert to run up there and play in case he had to run and hurl. But congrats to J.R. for keeping his stomach contents in. Next week we are playing the carol of the bells (some of you might not know that name but it is on the stupid Garmin GPS device commercials) , which should be very fun, if not disastrous. Jeff had on jeans that were super-tight last night too, which he decided to mention to everyone in the band very proudly. Maybe he's going to grow his hair out and hair spray it and join Whitesnake or something. One can only speculate.

What a day and age we live in, where we're so disconnected from other people that we need to write things in a blog that millions of people can read and we don't have to stick around for their facial expression or adverse reaction.

I just got some random call at work from some guy asking me if I wanted to join the Marine Corps. Interesting. Not that I'm against the Marines or anything, but I know God's called me to full time ministry and the idea of being a chaplain that is a politically correct puppet spouting the "i'm ok, you're ok" garbage that tickles peoples' itching ears is not a pleasant thought. Seriously those guys are heavily leaned on not to even use Jesus' name in a public prayer service!

..this concludes my random ramblings.

December already. Where did this year go? I could go on and on about the brevity of life and all of that jazz, but for now, I choose to skip it. Lately, God has been showing me interesting perspectives on myself and where I need to change. I guess I can take comfort in that, knowing that painful processing is better then boring business-as-usual. Plus, change is good. One thing God has showed me recently is getting out of the box and trying new things can be great fun. I've always been sort of adventurous with my food choices, but even more so now. I no longer feel comfortable confining myself to one genre of music, but realize that there's more to life than the stuff I always listen to. Not really sure what else to say about this new direction, but it's interesting to see it happening from a first-person perspective. Wow. The side effects of getting old. I feel like I should be in an old creaky rocking chair out in the sticks somewhere, squinting at the far-away mountains and talking about what things were like "in the good old days." Seriously, I thank God for this introspective moment. But I'm only 24, so I guess as long as God allows it I will have a couple of decades at least.

My wife and I are going to get her Christmas present at the mall tomorrow, where I will be praying fervently to not blow my top when I'm facing stupid drivers and massive crowds of rude people. We're going to be shopping for a ring guard, and for the guys who don't know what that is, it's basically an expensive, diamond-encrusted metal sleeve for a ring. But she's worth every penny. (You know I'm racking up some brownie points this weekend!) I love my wife so much and it's such an undeserved blessing. God has known all along what I have needed in a wife and He has given her to me. Not to mention the beautiful daughter that we have, the most beautiful little girl in the world! (Sorry J.R., I'm very strongly biased. :D)

I'm convinced it's super-important to reach back into the past every once in a while and remind yourself of the way things used to be. For example, I watched some home videos yesterday and the memories flooded back. There was one when I was 10, another when I was 15. One had me playing guitar. I was good for a year of playing guitar, but horrible compared to now, so that was really encouraging, considering I've had a nagging thought for the past few years that I wasn't really growing in my guitar-related skills. It was interesting to get sort of an insight into my 15-year old mindset, during one of the toughest times of my life. It's so amazing what Jesus has done in the past 9 years, from then until now. I'm blown away. God help us not to take for granted every single blessing we receive from a God who had and has every right to remove everything good from our lives due to our repeated failures and sins. Grace is truly amazing. It's interesting that this post comes during thanksgiving season, when we're supposed to thing about stuff like this. Shouldn't that be every day? I'm guilty of becoming complacent with the things around me and with God Himself. My desire is to find delight in the small things of life and see God where He is, everywhere.

Hell on earth: the sequel! Duh Duh DUHHHH! Just kidding. No really, I was having a terrible day until about 3 minutes ago. Last night I woke up in the middle of the night with a splitting migraine headache, so I was up for about 2 hours. Then I woke up in a bad mood, and have been grumpy/nappy ever since. I tried to vote, but I'm registered in another county, so they won't let me vote in Shelby county, and it's likely that Tipton won't let me either since I'm a resident of shelby county. UGH! ..but at least I tried. On top of all that, my right eye is swollen almost shut- some kind of freak thing that happens once every month or so, out of nowhere and lasts 24 hours and disappears. So I'm a big grumpy Quasimodo now. All I need is a hump and a bell tower. Please excuse the horrible analogy.

Over and over again, I've been asking myself "why is this happening" and also asking God the same thing. Then a smile came over my face when I realized why. This keeps me from getting too prideful. It keeps me humble, and since God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble, that's a cool position to be in. I feel like such a lunatic for being happy about that, but I guess that's just who I am in Christ. Maybe I've gone sane in a crazy world.

Wow. Almost another month gone by. I'm so terrible at this.

I just finished reading Islam Unveiled by Ergun and Emir Caner. What a great book. It gives you everything you need to reach out to the muslims around you with the love of Jesus while still respecting their customs and understanding their history and culture. It was an eye-opener. And yet another example of how the media distorts facts into politically-correct lies. The people who say that Islam is really a religion of peace and not hostility (A) don't read the Qu'ran and (B) most likely believe that all religions lead to the same God (C)lack the backbone to speak the truth. Sorry for the scathing remark, but it's true.

Another book I'm almost done with is The Irresistable Revolution by Shane Claiborne. To sum it up with two words- Very Interesting. He has a very different viewpoint than most Christians or even most Americans. I certainly don't agree with everything he writes in this book, but it makes you think a lot about America and what being a Christian is and is not about. One of the lessons I've learned from it i guess would be that if you're not reaching out to your community (including outcasts, poor people, people of different backgrounds/heritages, etc.) then you're missing a big part about what it is to be a Christian and we need to better manage our money here in the big U of A. But the book's funny, because this guy is on the hippie side of Christianity, and it really shows through his writings. He's an activist, and participates in demonstrations and protests and quotes Martin Luther King Jr. and Gandhi and Doris Day and other socio-political activists and gives the whole thing a Christian twist. But I agree with Todd and J.R. that it's a good idea to expose yourself to opinions and perspectives different than your own. This book is the epitome of a different perspective. Wow.

God has been doing interesting things in my life. I'm at a point where I'm asking more questions than I am making assumptions. Also God's sort of training me to trust Him no matter what the circumstances. Good cliche for sunday morning, but to actually do it when nothing makes sense at all and you want to give up is another. But time after time God is faithful and He makes everything work out okay.

Latest news- I got a call 430am this morning from the police. They said that our store had been broken into. So I dragged my sleepy, nappy rear end up there and saw a busted front window and 80+ missing phones inside. What a day. So now we're cleaning up the collateral damage so to speak. I wonder if God didn't allow me to be manager here at this store for this particular reason. Maybe only eternity will tell.

a-HA! Thought I wouldn't post for another month, did ya?!?!

A lot has been going on lately. Both joyful and painful. I think I'll end on a good note like David did in Psalms.

Work has been interesting lately. I applied for a management position Sept. 8, and found out last week I will not be getting the job. My boss had a lot of great stuff to say about me, but he said I need more management experience. That's the classic catch 22 with management- you need to be in management to get management experience, but you can't get a management job because you have no mangement experience! ..But I understand completely, and, in hindsight, I would be very surprised if I got the job, considering I am pretty green in this particular area. It's depressing, because I had my heart set on it, but I knew it wasn't a done deal. It's just one of those things I have to trust God on. I know that disappointments, failures, delays, etc. are a powerful tool that God uses to make us more like Jesus. Plus, it's like God's gradually placing me in a leadership position, since He knows how much I can handle. I am going to be assistant manager, though, which should bring in some more money. Maybe a house is in the near future. I'm not sure. But it has been an interesting experience. I know God's going to get glory out of it, though.

Oh, the good news! Ahh... what a relief! Sorry, I'm getting dramatic. I saw this video from Promise Keepers called Dust (I think the video company is Nooma). There was a pastor from a church in Grand Rapids, Michigan that's one of the fastest growing churches in the U.S. But he shared an incredible perspective on Jesus that a friend had shared with him. I won't do it the justice it deserves, but here's the basics:
We need to look at the Bible through the historical context. In first-century Hebrew culture, kids around age 6 would start schooling, where they would memorize the Torah by age 10- that's Genesis through Deuteronomy! FIVE books! Then most of the kids would go and apprentice with their parents and learn a skill. But the best students would continue on with more schooling, including memorizing the REST of the Hebrew Old Testament- they would have had Genesis -> Malachi memorized by around age 14-15! Then most of these students would go learn a trade with their parents, but the best of the best would apply to apprentice with a rabbi. The rabbi would grill them with questions about the Torah, the oral tradition, etc. If the kid failed the test, the rabbi would tell him to go learn a trade with his parents. If the kid passed, the rabbi would say, "Follow me." The kid would leave EVERYTHING, his parents, his friends, his hometown, and spend his LIFE learning from his rabbi and trying to be like his rabbi.

So where does this historical evidence fit in? One of the places is in Matthew chapter 4. Jesus calls Peter and Andrew and they immediately drop their nets and follow him. James and John immediately drop their nets, leave their father, and follow him. Why is this important? If they were out fishing, they weren't following another rabbi, which means they didn't make the cut. They weren't good enough. When Jesus said, "Follow Me." What he really meant was, "I believe in you. I believe you can be like me." Jesus took a group of average joes and changed the world. THAT's why Peter walked on the water. He believed he could be like his rabbi, Jesus. Jesus not only believed in them, He believes in us. He believes we can be like Him.

Needless to say, this is mind-blowing and so cool. Yet another reason why I will absolutely love seminary. I might have to use a cane to walk through the halls, but God will get me there sooner or later.

Haven't posted in a few days. Work can be frustrating sometimes. Not that I don't like my job, I do, because I get to help people everyday. It's just that retail is a 24-7 job. Like having to work when you're supposed to be playing in the worship band. *sigh*. Let me end my tirade there. God is awesome and in control, whether I'm in a good mood or not. That is comforting.

One of the things I'm learning (or rather God is teaching) is where to draw the line on certain issues, avoiding both legalism and hedonism and trying to find the "happy medium." Wherever that is, I'm not sure yet. But I refuse to stop and ask for directions. No seriously, I'm praying that God will show me through His word and through other circumstances.

I turned 24 yesterday. And what a day it was. I am absolutely blown away about how awesome and incredible God is and how much He has blessed me- way beyond what I deserve.

I spent the whole day with my beautiful wife. It was great to have some alone time, and if you have kids, you'll understand. I slept in until 8am, which is sleeping in for me, since most mornings I'm up between 5 and 6am. Ate lunch at Chik-Fil-A, which made me very happy. Brooke bought me the coolest thing ever to hit the DDR universe- it's called Dance Factory, and you can dance to your own CD's, which I love because I can enjoy the recreational and entertainment qualities of DDR without compromising and listening to secular music. My Dad and Theresa also surprised us with a computer, something we have been needing a long time. In case you're wondering, I post these blogs from work in my down time.

But as aforementioned, God has allowed these circumstances to create an attitude of reflection and evaluation and I have a long way to go. I am excited because God's not done with me yet.

Tommorrow is my birthday. 24. Wow. I could almost be Jack Bauer. Yeah I know, terrible joke. I'm reflecting a lot about my life and basically, I am nowhere close to where I want to be. God has already revealed my purpose and future as husband, father, and pastor, but He has yet to fill in the rest of the details. So I watch and wait and God has continually chastened me for my idiocy and rebellious ways. But I am closer to God than I have been any other year. Not because of personal effort, but because of the character building God has been doing through hardships in my life. A few of the previously rough edges are smoother, but most are still jagged. I am a little bit wiser I guess. This is really a humbling experience. Not really a valley, but somewhere between the valley and the mountain. I thank God for the painfully real perspective and know that it will produce some changes. I can't imagine what lost people hang on to when things get hectic around them. What a hope we have in Jesus.
Sorry this has been rambling, but I am so tired right now I could go to sleep on my countertop here at work. Been a long few days.

Boy, I'm terrible with this whole blog thing. Been a whole week since the last one.

Last night was really weird. Pretty typical day, as far as the events. I was extra "industrious" yesterday, and I got a whole lot accomplished at work like cleaning the store and getting boxes ready to ship. So I was a little more tired, but business as usual. But right around 9pm, Brooke said she was having anxiety and didn't know why, and I did too. Now as a side note, anxiety is something I deal with on a daily basis sometimes, but medicine helps somewhat. It's a long story. It's my testimony. Anyway I digress. So I was just thinking it was a regular anxiety attack with no real reason behind it, but since BOTH of us had it, I stronglyl believe that God was trying to tell us something. Well we called family and friends to see if everyone was ok, and I prayed about it and read the Bible and re-read some parts of "How To Hear From God" by Charles Stanley. Well I was laying down on my stomach on our bed doing this, and I fell asleep (long day.) Well it pretty much went away for both of us by then. So we're totally clueless as to what that's about. Maybe it was a demonic attack. But I strongly believe that God was trying to tell us something. I still feel a bit of it today, and I'm not sure if it's the God-given anxiety or just plain ol'anxiety about the anxiety I had last night. Wow, that was an interesting sentence. I can say that I personally got something out of that. I really sought after God, and you can't leave God's presence unchanged. So I feel this peace and this anxiety at the same time. I promise I'm not schizophrenic. But God is awesome.

Charles Stanley says in that book I was reading that when God was about to tell him something, God would give him a restless spirit to make him seek Him. Maybe that's it. I'm excited about the great God we serve and the incredible huge plans he has for our lives. Not because we're anything big or special but because God is incredible.

God is worthy.

Another standalone phrase to summarize this post. This is the #1 reason we as Christians need to serve whole-heartedly, love like we mean it, and give our lives to others to make a spiritual investment.

I write this in a moment of humility. Today I started thinking about how incredible God is and how wretched we are (I am). I'm glad I am having one of these moments, because it's been a while. I guess you can call it losing focus. You know how when you stare at an object in the foreground, everything else blurs, and when you stare at an object in the background, everything in the foreground blurs? Try it- it's a perfect illustration of an incredible spiritual principle:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

It's true! The more we look at our daily circumstances and consume ourselves with them, the more our spiritual life becomes distant/blurry. Conversely, the more we look at Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, completely omnipotent and sovereign over all things, the more our daily circumstances dim and become secondary to what's really important:
GOD IS WORTHY. HE DESERVES EVERYTHING WE HAVE.
(and so much more.)

Truly, no true happiness can be found without being in a personal, intimate relationship with our Lord Jesus Christ and being in the center of His will. Not that I stay there, or that I've been there a lot, but I know at least this moment I am there. Describing it is beyond words.

I am tired.

Thought I'd let that statement stand by itself. It is the ringing theme for the morning. Either that or, "I'm all cracked out on coca-cola." Now you see why I chose the former.

Anyway, we stayed open late last night to try to make quota. I got home about 10:45 and went straight to bed. It almost feels like I haven't even left work. We might not have made quota, but I think God is showing me something about follow-through. I was determined to make a strong effort, and even when I wanted to go home, I stayed because at least I could say our failure to make quota wasn't due to a lack of effort on our part. I guess it's part of being "a cut above" as a Christian too. Too often we see lost people working harder than God's people. I'm pointing the finger at myself too. We take the concept of God taking care of all our needs and then we run all the way with it, becoming inactive/lazy/etc. And I'm NOT tooting my own horn here. This is here for me to read from time to time too. Just something I think God is showing me.

The Christian life is interesting. It doesn't depend on feelings. It doesn't run on personal energy/stamina. To lead is to serve everyone. The prescribed method for revenge is kindness. Personal effort does not increase or decrease one's standing with God. What an exciting mystery. I look forward to figuring this out for however long God has me here on this earth.

Last night was great in H20(high school worship service). Everything went relatively smoothly, except for some technical issues with my gear. Apparently, I have a loose volume knob on my guitar and it's causing my sound to cut off intermittently. Pretty freaky stuff when you're in the middle of a song.

Today is an interesting day. We need to do 6 new activations at work to make our monthly quota. And its 3:24 pm right now. So it will be a miracle if God chooses to bless the next 2.5 hours with 6 activations. Or it might be a late night- I'm determined to get this done. Oh yeah, the real interesting part. I got a speeding ticket today. I don't claim innocence at all. It was a humbling experience, to say the least.

But God is great, no matter what is going on. I don't say that because I feel that way, in fact I feel pretty blah. But I KNOW that God is sovereign over all things and He's working everything out for the good of those who love Him.

I am convinced more and more each day that there are so many Christians that have no real idea what the actual church is all about. It's not about a building, or a preacher, or special effects. It's not about living this pseudo-perfect lifestyle in front of other Christians and saying you're "doing good" when asked. It's this real, raw, incredible thing that can happen in a house or a back alley, or out in the mountains somewhere. It's not composed of perfect citizens with no sins or struggles in their lives. It's composed of people who love Jesus. Not just say it, but live it. People who want to bring God glory. People who have real struggles and real trials and real heartbreaks in their lives. People who are eternally changed because of a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and know they are nothing without Him. This is so different from the traditional perception of the church. God's people need to wake up and realize that time's running out and people are dying and going to hell and if no one else is going to do anything about it, then we will. We need to affect our culture instead of embrace it.

God help us all. Pray for the body of Christ. Lift each other up with encouraging words. Hold each other accountable. These are dark days and we have the Light within us.

Today is a strange day. I feel strange, and I'm not sure why. Stress, I guess. Even though serving in church is a joy and a privelege, it is stressful sometimes. I actually have two sunday school lessons to prepare, since I'm covering Todd's 8am discipleship class and teaching my normal 10:45 class. I'm confident that God will show me what He wants me to teach.

And since we're on the subject of God's direction in teaching, let me go ahead and tell you about last week. It's a great example of the benefits of obedience, even though many times my life seems to be about the perils of disobedience. We saw the movie End of the Spear on Saturday night. It was INCREDIBLE. That's all I'll say. If you've seen it, then you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, then rent it or better yet buy it, because I can almost guarantee that if you love Jesus, then you'll love this movie. But let me catch myself before I give the plot away.

Anyway, we saw the movie and it blew us away. I already had made plans to make my lesson on another topic, but God had other things in mind. I had been having a feeling that day that God wanted me to talk about something besides what I had planned on talking about. Sure enough, I read that day's corresponding proverb and verses were jumping off of the page at me. Different verses than usual. In general, I think that verses that stand out are ones that have a personal application to where we're at at the time. But these verses had to deal with the poor. So God gave me this whole lesson about the two sides of poverty: material and spiritual. It went over great with the kids, and another adult that serves there every week told me that the kids opened up more than she had ever seen them do before. So glory to God for His great lesson! I was so humbled to be used in such a way. And it was yet another confirmation that this is what God has called me to do. I so look forward to being a youth pastor. I'm just waiting on God to pull it all together. I know He has to knock off a lot of rough edges and prepare me for what He has in store for me. Waiting has been a character-building exercise, to say the least.

...and by the way, I thank God for my beautiful wife and my beautiful baby girl. They are the silver lining in any cloudy sky for me.

WOW. It's been almost a whole month since I posted last. This serves as proof of how crazy life can be sometimes.

On August 6th, we flew to Connecticut to spend time with my mom and my stepdad and some family. Connecticut is beautiful. I spent 15 years of my life there, and it still feels like home, even after living elsewhere for 7 years. We had some awesome God-given opportunities to witness to two of my friends while we were there. Many of the people that live in the Bible belt have no idea how secularized life is up there. I mean, the Christian music section in Wal-Mart is half the size! Must not be a lot of demand. People in general keep their "religious views" to themselves. Churches are few and far between. If my research is correct, there's only 2 churches running over 1000 on Sunday morning service in the whole state. What a mission field.

But it was great to go up there. It was so relaxing, sitting out on the screened in porch in my old house, having my quiet time in the morning. It was great to unwind after the recent pressures at work.

I'm not sure if I have talked about this yet, but I have been placed in a position of authority at my job. Not a manager, just in charge. I know, it's complicated. But there might be management opportunities in the future if I do a good job. If not, this is great leadership prep for ministry! It's amazing the things I don't know about leadership. I've had to rely heavily on my dad, who's been in management-type jobs since he was in the army 7 years ago or so. So naturally, he's a huge database of management info (no, I'm not calling him huge. :D )

So getting my feet wet in "pre-management" has been stressful, mostly because I've been stubbornly trying to do it on my own and not doing it God's way as much as I should. But it's improving after only a month, and I have positive expectations for the future.

I also was sick this week, which was partially due to a virus and partially because I stayed up all night Saturday night, which really messes with my immune system. I haven't thanked God for my health in a while, which I should. I thanked Him this week. There's a lesson in everything.

Hopefully I'll be better about posting more regularly. Pray for me.

Ok, the last post was really weird. It was from like 4 or 5 days ago, because I saved it as a draft but did not post it until today.

I learned something very interesting the other night. Something that really should be preached from the pulpit of every church in America. After we get saved, we have this incomplete understanding of God's grace. We think that if we try really hard, then we can live the Christian life successfully, putting too much confidence in our flesh. Then we fall into sin, many times the same type of sin that we expected to be instantly delivered from when we received Jesus into our heart. Here's the crazy part: God allows a situation where we are struggling with our flesh and failing continuously/repeatedly to teach us that theres NO WAY we can live the Christian life on our own, it needs to be Christ living through us. The only way to come out victorious in a situation like this is to yield to God and allow Him to live through you. Needless to say it blew my mind.

Work's been okay lately. That's all I will say about work. I desire so badly to be in the ministry (full-time) and I know that every Christian is called to ministry, but to be able to devote my life to Jesus without having to work around a job schedule will be awesome. I just have to do the best I can with what God's given me while I can do it, until God opens those doors. Certainly an exercise in patience.

Here's a post from last week:

Been a while since the last post.

Been grumpy lately.
Stress has a way of getting under my skin. I know I'm not alone in this. This is where my immaturity as a believer really shows through. It wasn't a frustration generated by anything specific, just a general, annoying frustration eating at my patience continually. A.K.A. a growing experience. I had to remind myself again how feelings are secondary to the truth of God's word.

Forgot to pray for something crazy to not happen on Wednesday. We almost didn't have the sound set up in time. But God worked it all out.

My wife's birthday was on friday. We had a great time, and it was so awesome to go on a romantic evening with her, even though we weren't alone the whole time. We went to see the play Little Women in covington. It made me want to act in a play again.

The air also went out on friday in our apartment. Talk about craziness. But we had already made plans for Bekah to be at her aunt's house so God orchestrated it perfectly. We spent the weekend with my Dad and Theresa, which was very cool.

Went to a birthday party on saturday. Had a great time. Food. Friends. Fun. Still sore from all the sports. Learned that play-doh can't be set on fire (long story).
Dan Nelson got blasted with a water balloon on his chest. It created an immediate bruise. Super funny.

Really frustrated saturday night/sunday morning. Ripped a contact and stumbled around blind all day. Had to go and pray during the sermon on sunday because I was so frustrated. Just generally frustrated. You know, when circumstances get out of control and instead of turning to God, you get angry. But as mentioned before, I can be a big idiot sometimes. But I had a good prayer time with God. He blessed sunday school, and we had lots of fun.

Served in nursery. had a great time.

i know its kinda cliff notes but had to post something.

Today is a good day.

My Dad made a comment to me last night about prayer. He said it's not about asking for help, but asking for God do do it. I guess he means asking God to live through you. So I gave it all to God in prayer this morning. Everything. Surrender. I believe he's on to something, because the peace I felt ever since I prayed that has been incredible. I really get excited when stuff like this is happening, because I know God is teaching me something.

Well, I haven't given a disclaimer in a few weeks, so here goes: I'm not what people would call a prayer warrior. I pray every day, but not nearly as much as I should. Just being honest. My morning prayer time is the longest. I can't say a lot of things about my prayer life, but what I can say is that I've learned to be honest. Big words won't get you anywhere. Neither will a super-religious attitude. I've learned that you pray just like you are, and seeking God from where you're really at instead of being anything but real. I also want to say that I have so much more to learn about prayer. About many things, for that matter. That's one of the things that really excite me about going to seminary. Good solid Biblical answers to my questions without having to question an author's motives or research their denominational beliefs.

I am excited about tonight, since (Lord willing) I will be able to play in the worship band tonight at ignite. It's been over a month since I last played, and it's going to be awesome to worship in a band setting again. I need to pray that nothing crazy happens too, since that is almost a weekly occurrence.

Today is a blah day. Blah. Gross.

I'm so glad that feelings are irrelevant when it comes to intimacy with God. Even though I am having "one of those days" I have a peace in the background of all of this chaos, knowing the Lord is with me.

Sunday school went wonderful yesterday, and God deserves 100% of the credit. I went up there and prayed beforehand to invite Him to meet with us there and speak through me, and He honored my prayers. There was an uncanny fluidity to my speech, instead of the normal stuttering and muttering that comprises my lessons. But maybe I'm too hard on myself. Either way, God blessed my total lack of preparation and empowered me through the Holy Spirit to be a bold speaker. Not sure of why I didn't think of praying beforehand earlier. Oh yeah, I guess it was because I wasn't interested in putting 100% effort in. Gotta be honest. So in summary, I'm an idiot again, and God is incredible.

Saturday night was interesting. It was the first time in a while that I was able to hang out with friends besides at camp last week. Halo rules. We had a blast. I think it's awesome that God knows what we need specifically when we need it. I have been working a whole lot lately and it was good to just unplug for a while.

And in the midst of all of this, there is a hint of another calling. An outward calling to ministry. Something God-sized. I'm still trying to figure out if it's God's will. So the mystery continues.

No matter what, it's still an incredible joy to be here.

I love you Jesus.

The past few days have been incredible. I went on the trip to minister to students and build relationships with them (and that certainly took place), but what I didn't expect is that God had a specific word for me. You see, a few posts ago I told you about the monumental decision I was faced with. Ever since then, I have looked outward for God's call to ministry, as in away from where I live right now. But God's message for me was that I have been so busy looking for God's call elsewhere that I have neglected the ministry that He has already given me here.

The message was so clear I knew it was from God. That message came with a renewed passion for the spiritual growth of the students in my class and also a passion to build lasting relationships with them and really put forth an effort in growing our class and ministering to the ones who already come every week. I feel like such an idiot, and I know I have not been a good steward of the gifts and talents God has given me in youth ministry. So from here on out, my focus is to have fun, captivating lessons that are spiritually sound and are produced by hard work and much prayer and Bible study.

Nothing has become any clearer as far as God's direction for my life; all I know is what I need to be doing while I wait on Him. I am happy to say that, although the past few days it has been difficult due to the craziness of camp, the very first time I had a chance to be alone with God I grabbed it and very much enjoyed it. This is a time of trials and some pain, but I am confident once again the Lord will work it all out.

Someone I know said it the best, and I echo it: "I am a huge loser and an even greater sinner, but Christ is my life and thats pretty much all I'm living for."

How great is our God.

Pain is interesting. It's a tool that God uses to conform us to the image of His Son. A divine chisel to chip off the rough edges. Pain is a tough schoolmaster.

Last night I got some news that really upset me. In the midst of this incredible journey of growing closer to God, this situation landed squarely in front of me, staring me straight in the face, challenging everything that has happened in the past weeks.

Now, I must choose to praise God and seek Him even though my feelings lead me otherwise. This is where the proverbial rubber meets the road. This is yet another situation where I must wait on God's direction, which is certainly a situation that God is using to build character, since I am the kind of guy who needs to know yesterday. Not to mention the fact that I work in a customer service oriented job, which means that even though today is a crazy day I still need to be friendly. I'm a friendly guy, but sometimes it takes some effort.

I'm confident that God is going to work all of this out, and I am praying a lot about this. We serve a big God, bigger than any problem that may come our way.
Certainly the God who spoke things into existence can handle the problems of His children. I feel better just thinking about that.

My next post will probably be in about a week. We're going to Destin FL for a few days.

ok, here goes the first post. First I'd like to say that, although I am aware of other people I know creating their own blogs, my motive is not to follow the trend, but to provide an insight into my own life that would in turn help other Christians live for Jesus. Another disclaimer: I am not putting myself on a pedestal for all to see as a wonderful model of Christ-centered living for the world to follow. The only true example to follow is Jesus Christ himself, the standard we as Christians should all look up to.

I've been saved almost five years now. Only in the last month have I even started to grasp what a dynamic, intimate relationship is like with Jesus. Truth be told, I've wasted a lot of time. Time I could have been using to grow closer to Jesus.

On Father's day, I was faced with a very important decision that would affect my call to full time ministry. The sheer enormity of the decision left me no choice but to run to God for answers. Over the next weeks, I have been more and more consumed by the urge to pray and to pour God's word into my mind and read every Christian book I can get my hands on. Prayer and my quiet time have finally become a priority, and I have become more consistent than I have in years. No matter what God says to my wife and I about this decision, these circumstances have served a greater purpose: drawing me closer to God than I have ever been.

I want to be clear that I'm not boasting or bragging at all. This whole situation is both a testimony to God's grace and goodness and my idiocy for being lukewarm for so long.

Just like the old hymn "turn your eyes upon Jesus", things of this world that brought me pleasure have become stale and unappealing. Truly nothing compares to the incredible experience of spending time with Jesus. Nothing.