Ok, the last post was really weird. It was from like 4 or 5 days ago, because I saved it as a draft but did not post it until today.

I learned something very interesting the other night. Something that really should be preached from the pulpit of every church in America. After we get saved, we have this incomplete understanding of God's grace. We think that if we try really hard, then we can live the Christian life successfully, putting too much confidence in our flesh. Then we fall into sin, many times the same type of sin that we expected to be instantly delivered from when we received Jesus into our heart. Here's the crazy part: God allows a situation where we are struggling with our flesh and failing continuously/repeatedly to teach us that theres NO WAY we can live the Christian life on our own, it needs to be Christ living through us. The only way to come out victorious in a situation like this is to yield to God and allow Him to live through you. Needless to say it blew my mind.

Work's been okay lately. That's all I will say about work. I desire so badly to be in the ministry (full-time) and I know that every Christian is called to ministry, but to be able to devote my life to Jesus without having to work around a job schedule will be awesome. I just have to do the best I can with what God's given me while I can do it, until God opens those doors. Certainly an exercise in patience.

Here's a post from last week:

Been a while since the last post.

Been grumpy lately.
Stress has a way of getting under my skin. I know I'm not alone in this. This is where my immaturity as a believer really shows through. It wasn't a frustration generated by anything specific, just a general, annoying frustration eating at my patience continually. A.K.A. a growing experience. I had to remind myself again how feelings are secondary to the truth of God's word.

Forgot to pray for something crazy to not happen on Wednesday. We almost didn't have the sound set up in time. But God worked it all out.

My wife's birthday was on friday. We had a great time, and it was so awesome to go on a romantic evening with her, even though we weren't alone the whole time. We went to see the play Little Women in covington. It made me want to act in a play again.

The air also went out on friday in our apartment. Talk about craziness. But we had already made plans for Bekah to be at her aunt's house so God orchestrated it perfectly. We spent the weekend with my Dad and Theresa, which was very cool.

Went to a birthday party on saturday. Had a great time. Food. Friends. Fun. Still sore from all the sports. Learned that play-doh can't be set on fire (long story).
Dan Nelson got blasted with a water balloon on his chest. It created an immediate bruise. Super funny.

Really frustrated saturday night/sunday morning. Ripped a contact and stumbled around blind all day. Had to go and pray during the sermon on sunday because I was so frustrated. Just generally frustrated. You know, when circumstances get out of control and instead of turning to God, you get angry. But as mentioned before, I can be a big idiot sometimes. But I had a good prayer time with God. He blessed sunday school, and we had lots of fun.

Served in nursery. had a great time.

i know its kinda cliff notes but had to post something.

Today is a good day.

My Dad made a comment to me last night about prayer. He said it's not about asking for help, but asking for God do do it. I guess he means asking God to live through you. So I gave it all to God in prayer this morning. Everything. Surrender. I believe he's on to something, because the peace I felt ever since I prayed that has been incredible. I really get excited when stuff like this is happening, because I know God is teaching me something.

Well, I haven't given a disclaimer in a few weeks, so here goes: I'm not what people would call a prayer warrior. I pray every day, but not nearly as much as I should. Just being honest. My morning prayer time is the longest. I can't say a lot of things about my prayer life, but what I can say is that I've learned to be honest. Big words won't get you anywhere. Neither will a super-religious attitude. I've learned that you pray just like you are, and seeking God from where you're really at instead of being anything but real. I also want to say that I have so much more to learn about prayer. About many things, for that matter. That's one of the things that really excite me about going to seminary. Good solid Biblical answers to my questions without having to question an author's motives or research their denominational beliefs.

I am excited about tonight, since (Lord willing) I will be able to play in the worship band tonight at ignite. It's been over a month since I last played, and it's going to be awesome to worship in a band setting again. I need to pray that nothing crazy happens too, since that is almost a weekly occurrence.

Today is a blah day. Blah. Gross.

I'm so glad that feelings are irrelevant when it comes to intimacy with God. Even though I am having "one of those days" I have a peace in the background of all of this chaos, knowing the Lord is with me.

Sunday school went wonderful yesterday, and God deserves 100% of the credit. I went up there and prayed beforehand to invite Him to meet with us there and speak through me, and He honored my prayers. There was an uncanny fluidity to my speech, instead of the normal stuttering and muttering that comprises my lessons. But maybe I'm too hard on myself. Either way, God blessed my total lack of preparation and empowered me through the Holy Spirit to be a bold speaker. Not sure of why I didn't think of praying beforehand earlier. Oh yeah, I guess it was because I wasn't interested in putting 100% effort in. Gotta be honest. So in summary, I'm an idiot again, and God is incredible.

Saturday night was interesting. It was the first time in a while that I was able to hang out with friends besides at camp last week. Halo rules. We had a blast. I think it's awesome that God knows what we need specifically when we need it. I have been working a whole lot lately and it was good to just unplug for a while.

And in the midst of all of this, there is a hint of another calling. An outward calling to ministry. Something God-sized. I'm still trying to figure out if it's God's will. So the mystery continues.

No matter what, it's still an incredible joy to be here.

I love you Jesus.

The past few days have been incredible. I went on the trip to minister to students and build relationships with them (and that certainly took place), but what I didn't expect is that God had a specific word for me. You see, a few posts ago I told you about the monumental decision I was faced with. Ever since then, I have looked outward for God's call to ministry, as in away from where I live right now. But God's message for me was that I have been so busy looking for God's call elsewhere that I have neglected the ministry that He has already given me here.

The message was so clear I knew it was from God. That message came with a renewed passion for the spiritual growth of the students in my class and also a passion to build lasting relationships with them and really put forth an effort in growing our class and ministering to the ones who already come every week. I feel like such an idiot, and I know I have not been a good steward of the gifts and talents God has given me in youth ministry. So from here on out, my focus is to have fun, captivating lessons that are spiritually sound and are produced by hard work and much prayer and Bible study.

Nothing has become any clearer as far as God's direction for my life; all I know is what I need to be doing while I wait on Him. I am happy to say that, although the past few days it has been difficult due to the craziness of camp, the very first time I had a chance to be alone with God I grabbed it and very much enjoyed it. This is a time of trials and some pain, but I am confident once again the Lord will work it all out.

Someone I know said it the best, and I echo it: "I am a huge loser and an even greater sinner, but Christ is my life and thats pretty much all I'm living for."

How great is our God.

Pain is interesting. It's a tool that God uses to conform us to the image of His Son. A divine chisel to chip off the rough edges. Pain is a tough schoolmaster.

Last night I got some news that really upset me. In the midst of this incredible journey of growing closer to God, this situation landed squarely in front of me, staring me straight in the face, challenging everything that has happened in the past weeks.

Now, I must choose to praise God and seek Him even though my feelings lead me otherwise. This is where the proverbial rubber meets the road. This is yet another situation where I must wait on God's direction, which is certainly a situation that God is using to build character, since I am the kind of guy who needs to know yesterday. Not to mention the fact that I work in a customer service oriented job, which means that even though today is a crazy day I still need to be friendly. I'm a friendly guy, but sometimes it takes some effort.

I'm confident that God is going to work all of this out, and I am praying a lot about this. We serve a big God, bigger than any problem that may come our way.
Certainly the God who spoke things into existence can handle the problems of His children. I feel better just thinking about that.

My next post will probably be in about a week. We're going to Destin FL for a few days.

ok, here goes the first post. First I'd like to say that, although I am aware of other people I know creating their own blogs, my motive is not to follow the trend, but to provide an insight into my own life that would in turn help other Christians live for Jesus. Another disclaimer: I am not putting myself on a pedestal for all to see as a wonderful model of Christ-centered living for the world to follow. The only true example to follow is Jesus Christ himself, the standard we as Christians should all look up to.

I've been saved almost five years now. Only in the last month have I even started to grasp what a dynamic, intimate relationship is like with Jesus. Truth be told, I've wasted a lot of time. Time I could have been using to grow closer to Jesus.

On Father's day, I was faced with a very important decision that would affect my call to full time ministry. The sheer enormity of the decision left me no choice but to run to God for answers. Over the next weeks, I have been more and more consumed by the urge to pray and to pour God's word into my mind and read every Christian book I can get my hands on. Prayer and my quiet time have finally become a priority, and I have become more consistent than I have in years. No matter what God says to my wife and I about this decision, these circumstances have served a greater purpose: drawing me closer to God than I have ever been.

I want to be clear that I'm not boasting or bragging at all. This whole situation is both a testimony to God's grace and goodness and my idiocy for being lukewarm for so long.

Just like the old hymn "turn your eyes upon Jesus", things of this world that brought me pleasure have become stale and unappealing. Truly nothing compares to the incredible experience of spending time with Jesus. Nothing.