New year's eve is coming up soon... Time to hang out with family and light off some fireworks! I love playing with fire. It will be great to see my in-laws (which I DO get along with) that I haven't seen in a few months. Plus they live way out in the boondocks (<-cool word) which is great to get away from it all for a few days.

I can't help but feel that God's doing something in the background somewhere, but I don't know what it is yet. Almost like the calm before the storm. My Dad and Theresa are leaving to go to Italy for 3 years some time next month, so that will be interesting. I know God will grow me through the experience, because it is really going to suck until I learn to depend on God and trust Him at His word. Just being real. Family leaving hits you hard. But God is already putting people around me to encourage me.

I am so glad I'm not in vocational ministry yet... I feel like I know so little. There's so many opinions and interpretations and controversy and stuff going on that I'm pretty sure God's using to show me and a bunch of others what is essential and what is not.

I am blown away that God chose me, knowing everything about me. Anything good you see in my life is because of Him. The more I think about what He's done in my life, the more I want others to know Him.

Wow, I feel like crap today. I just thought you'd like to know. I'm getting too old apparently, since I get all run down when I stay up late a couple of nights in a row.

Yesterday morning was interesting because our alarm didn't go off and I didn't make it to church until 11am, just in time for Fuel (sunday school). We served in the nursery last night, which was a lot of fun. It's really mind-boggling sometimes how every time something special is going on, we're scheduled to serve in the nursery. But we were needed pretty badly last night, because a lot of people are sick and they called and cancelled. So I'm glad God provided an opportunity for us to be used by Him.

I thank God for Christian friends that can get together and talk about issues.

Last night I went to two discussion groups- one with Dan Nelson at church and one at JR's house. I was so excited about both, considering the issues that have been coming up lately about culture and what the church's purpose is. All of my questions weren't answered, but I have seen that it's very possible for people to have a passion for following Jesus and approach it in very different ways. We talked about Rob Bell's book Velvet Elvis, which I absolutely have to read- it sounds awesome! Also we talked about Confessions of a Reformission Rev by Mark Driscoll, which I will read also. I enjoy looking at different perspectives. I'm prepared to disagree with things they write, but I have already read a book I disagree with parts of (the Irresistible Revolution), but I got a lot of insights out of that book that I would have missed out on.

Last night was amazing. It was the last wednesday night worship service in H20. The climax of the year, so to speak. Of course, being the Christmas season, we played Carol of the Bells. Not the mamby-pamby, mama's boy version, but a version similar to that of Trans-Siberian Orchestra, a heavy metal version. Personally, the lead guitar part was super challenging and, quite honestly, a bit out of my league. The circumstances surrounding this night were interesting, considering this would be the first time we had practiced this song as a band (with Brent). Practice was very frustrating, and it was apparent everyone was a little on edge, with the possible exception of Justin, who is hardly ever fazed by anything. I think he was thinking about his new girlfriend, but that's nothing but speculation. Anyway I digress.

We finished practice about 6:15pm, and it was a tense and discouraging time for many of us. God began to impress upon me strongly that we needed to pray as a band. I rounded everyone up and we all got in a circle to pray. Even Jeff was in a weird mood and wasn't wanting to lead us in prayer, so I did. Then we all went our separate ways to pray individually. And I really prayed. I have such a short attention span sometimes during prayer, I just get to thinking about other things. But not this time. It was real, honest, sincere prayer, desiring God to move in an incredible way. Based on recent times, I can't call myself a man of prayer. But I got it right last night. I was butchering the lead guitar part in practice, but it went amazingly, and I was blown away watching my fingers hit the notes on the guitar. God answered my prayer. The set went really well. To God be the glory.

It was interesting that J.R. talked about prayer last night too... I guess I have no other choice but to accept that God was teaching me about prayer last night in two different ways.

On a side note, it is very interesting to be in the midst of a debate about how Christians should present the gospel to the people around them. Apparently it's getting pretty heated, considering J.R. has taken a lot of heat for the one he posted yesterday about this. Apparently, we need to use the same traditions and methods for reaching the lost as we did in 1836. Anyone who feels differently is apparently "loving the world." God help us.

I wish I could put a title on this blog. If I could, it would be "Fitting in." Anyone who knows how to do this send me a message.

I saw an interesting thing last night while watching tv. Maybe you could characterize me as a "late night flipper." I get in these weird moods every once in a while and flip aimlessly through the channels late at night. I saw this semi-documentary thing on MTV called "True Life." It's a show that documents peoples' lives that fit under a certain theme. The first one I saw was called, "I don't fit in." There was one guy who was a glam rocker, who basically wore girl pants, high heels, a pink scarf, and poofed out hair all in the name of rock n roll (very interesting..). Another girl was contemplating joining a convent (a house or building where a bunch of Catholic nuns live together) and was going to have to give up her friends and dating. Another girl was the only black girl (this is the term she used) in this small community in Pennsylvania and she felt ashamed for her skin color. Three really interesting situations.

Watching this got me thinking about fitting in, and about people. There are so many people who feel lonely or feel like they have no real place in society or no real friends or no group to belong to. I remember all too well what that felt like. I was the nerdy awkward guy you used to pick on in school. My heart goes out to everyone everywhere who is feeling this way. I wish there was some way to communicate to everyone that Jesus can heal their broken heart. The church in many ways has become a place where certain people don't belong. To represent a God who welcomes everyone as they are and create a church environment that everyone can't feel welcome in is terrible. Sometimes we convince ourselves that some people don't want to be saved, but we are wrong. If everyone really knew what being welcomed into God's family was like, they would come running. Instead, they look at the lives of us Christians and see no difference. People everywhere are longing for the peace we have.

If you notice, people of all colors, ages, and social backgrounds can come together through Jesus. If you share a common bond in Him, you can have a lot in common with someone after only meeting them for the first time.

God help us as the church, the body of Christ, to welcome everyone to a place where they can find grace.

Well, the whole ring-buying event was interesting. I was determined to "wheel and deal" my way to a low price using a few choice tactics such as paying cash and price comparisons between 2 different stores. I guess I got a little full of myself, because God sort of taught me a lesson. I was superconfident that I would be able to do it, and looking back I guess that was something I was trying to do in the flesh, which makes my failure make sense. The reason everything went haywire is because there was only ONE place that had the specific ring Brooke was looking for, so there was no way to fulfill my evil plan for world domination.. um.. I mean my plans to get a lower price. (Wow, I'm nuts.) So we didn't get the price we were looking for, but I praise God that we were able to just buy it and not put it on credit which would put us into debt. Interestingly enough, the last time I tried to get credit for a ring I was declined, which makes me wonder what the qualification process is. She is going to pick up the ring today, and I'm sure I'll be getting an ecstatic call this afternoon about it.

I also wanted to say that H20 last night was interesting, considering someone called out "Yee haw!" during our rendition of "Everything Glorious" by David Crowder, and J.R. was so sick we (the band) were on emergency alert to run up there and play in case he had to run and hurl. But congrats to J.R. for keeping his stomach contents in. Next week we are playing the carol of the bells (some of you might not know that name but it is on the stupid Garmin GPS device commercials) , which should be very fun, if not disastrous. Jeff had on jeans that were super-tight last night too, which he decided to mention to everyone in the band very proudly. Maybe he's going to grow his hair out and hair spray it and join Whitesnake or something. One can only speculate.

What a day and age we live in, where we're so disconnected from other people that we need to write things in a blog that millions of people can read and we don't have to stick around for their facial expression or adverse reaction.

I just got some random call at work from some guy asking me if I wanted to join the Marine Corps. Interesting. Not that I'm against the Marines or anything, but I know God's called me to full time ministry and the idea of being a chaplain that is a politically correct puppet spouting the "i'm ok, you're ok" garbage that tickles peoples' itching ears is not a pleasant thought. Seriously those guys are heavily leaned on not to even use Jesus' name in a public prayer service!

..this concludes my random ramblings.

December already. Where did this year go? I could go on and on about the brevity of life and all of that jazz, but for now, I choose to skip it. Lately, God has been showing me interesting perspectives on myself and where I need to change. I guess I can take comfort in that, knowing that painful processing is better then boring business-as-usual. Plus, change is good. One thing God has showed me recently is getting out of the box and trying new things can be great fun. I've always been sort of adventurous with my food choices, but even more so now. I no longer feel comfortable confining myself to one genre of music, but realize that there's more to life than the stuff I always listen to. Not really sure what else to say about this new direction, but it's interesting to see it happening from a first-person perspective. Wow. The side effects of getting old. I feel like I should be in an old creaky rocking chair out in the sticks somewhere, squinting at the far-away mountains and talking about what things were like "in the good old days." Seriously, I thank God for this introspective moment. But I'm only 24, so I guess as long as God allows it I will have a couple of decades at least.

My wife and I are going to get her Christmas present at the mall tomorrow, where I will be praying fervently to not blow my top when I'm facing stupid drivers and massive crowds of rude people. We're going to be shopping for a ring guard, and for the guys who don't know what that is, it's basically an expensive, diamond-encrusted metal sleeve for a ring. But she's worth every penny. (You know I'm racking up some brownie points this weekend!) I love my wife so much and it's such an undeserved blessing. God has known all along what I have needed in a wife and He has given her to me. Not to mention the beautiful daughter that we have, the most beautiful little girl in the world! (Sorry J.R., I'm very strongly biased. :D)