behind the mask

New Blog

2008-09-01T12:19:00.000-05:00

solafide82.wordpress.com

The rest....

2008-01-01T13:39:00.001-06:00

Christmas at the Currie household

2008-01-01T12:20:00.000-06:00

Bekah

2007-11-12T19:21:00.000-06:00

I made this video to show Bekah's Gigi and Gramps the outfit they got her while we were in Sicily.

This video thing's pretty cool.. I think I'll be uploading more!

Hire me!

2007-08-30T21:07:00.000-05:00

Some of you may not know this, but God has called us to the Atlanta area to be a part of Freedom Church. Problem is, I need a solid job with good benefits. I have over two years of sales experience, I type about 65-80wpm, I am experienced with all basic computer applications including Word, Excel, Powerpoint, and FrontPage. My main passion is impacting the Acworth area with the gospel of Jesus Christ, but close behind that is a desire to provide for my wife and daughter the best I can.

God has made clear the "what" and the "where", but not the "how." Maybe someone reading this will feel God leading them to contact me. I am trusting that God will make a way. If you know of someone who may need someone like me, have them contact me. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get to where God wants me to be, so here I am, putting myself out there in the blogging community. I covet your prayers.

Abraham had incredible faith. God said, "get up and go" without even telling him where. Abraham went. I thank God that He knows I need more than a kick in the rear and a clear word.

So if you know of a way, let me know! I can't wait to be a part of what God's doing in Acworth!

Thursday.

2007-08-02T10:42:00.000-05:00

In no particular order:
2. I couldn't take the trash out at work. Why? Because there's 6 kabillion bees out there, one of which dive-bombed my face, causing me to fall on my butt. Too bad I didn't get it on tape..
5. Jon did a great vision video for Freedom Church. Check it out!
4. I've decided to grow my hair out. I am currently in the "70's explosion" stage, which will probably last another six months. No, I will not post a picture.
135. When I say in no particular order, I mean it!
63. I really miss playing live worship music! Hopefully it won't be long before I have another opportunity to do it again...
912. If you're only as young as you feel, than I am 465 years old today. My back is jacked.
11. I've started reading the book of Nehemiah. Looking forward to studying it more.

Could I possibly be any more random?

Been a while.

2007-07-30T15:56:00.000-05:00

Wow, been a while since the last post. As usual, life is incredibly busy, or at least seems so. I'm so terrible about posting on a blog, because many days I feel like I have nothing worthwhile/entertaining to say. But then again, I didn't intend to entertain people when I started this blog, so maybe that's not so bad after all. My hope would be that through these posts people are able to get a real-life glimpse of who I am and how incredible God is to save someone like me.

We've been going through the book of Acts in sunday school, and I taught out of Acts 20 because that's what I thought the next video would be on but it turns out I was wrong, because Fuel curriculum can be super weird at times. But now I'm off track. Stupid ADHD. *smacks himself*

So yeah, the great thing about this chapter is that Paul knew he was going to face persecution and imprisonment in Jerusalem because the Holy Spirit repeatedly told him, but he went anyway, because his sole purpose was finishing what God had called him to do. He also told the Ephesian elders that their eternity was not on him, because he had declared to them the whole purpose of God.

This is my desire as well, as I'm moving to another part of my life soon, to be able to say, "if they don't give their life to Jesus, it's not because I didn't share the gospel with them." You know, like what it says in Ezekiel 33 about the watchman who sounds the alarm when the invading army is coming in the middle of the night. Loving people and caring about their safety doesn't mean we let them sleep in false security, knowing they're not promised tomorrow, but waking them up to what's really going on. Fear, pride, self-doubt, and other stupid stuff gets in the way, but the bottom line is, we have to go and tell.

This really encouraged me..

2007-07-12T10:51:00.000-05:00

God's been teaching me a lot lately. I am so excited.

I can't speak for anyone else, but sometimes I just feel plain unworthy. I feel weak and useless. I feel like God would lower His standards to use me.

Now I know that these feelings are just Satan trying to discourage me. Many times I have fallen for it. I came across these verses when I was reading the Bible this morning in 1 Corinthians:

26Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 27But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, 29so that no one may boast before him. 30It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord."

Wow. You mean that God uses people like me ON PURPOSE?

YES!

Why? So that no one can say that God used them because they are somehow a better person, or they obey the entire Bible, etc. So that no one can boast. So that God gets the credit when something incredible happens.

I am so encouraged to know that my weakness allows God to show His strength in my life. That my foolishness allows God to show His wisdom. That me being the frail human being I am provides circumstances that when incredible things happen, there's no way anyone can give me the credit!

I hope that these verses encourage you, too.

Wow...

2007-07-09T11:31:00.000-05:00

Working as a salesperson (as a cellphone salesman) definitely brings a lot of interesting people into your daily life. Take today for example: a guy came in and was insisting that the King James version of the Bible is the only "un-corrupted" version.

Okay, now let me throw a disclaimer out there before my response: I am in no way personally attacking anyone who believes this, but no punches will be pulled here.

Picture heaven in an uproar because a "corrupted"[read:non-KJV] version of the Bible is printed.... or because people are preaching out of "corrupted" Bibles....

What kind of crack are these people smoking???!? I mean, seriously! Is anyone who makes these statements studying Greek and Hebrew? Not to mention, the language in the KJV makes me feel like I should be walking around in chain mail swinging a giant mace. Maybe that's just me, though...

Isn't God big enough to be sovereign over EVERY translation of the Bible? Doesn't the HOLY SPIRIT lead us to all truth??

Don't limit God, people. Maybe the reason your KJV only church never sees God move in your services is because of the man-made box you've put Him in. If you're offended, stop and ask yourself whether you believe that the King James is the only correct version because you've been taught that way, or because of your study of other translations?

Anyone (as in a believer that has the Holy Spirit) with half a brain, a Bible, and a Strong's concordance can get an accurate understanding of what Scripture says.

I mean this as an encouragement. Seriously think about why you believe what you believe. The gospel is already an offense to lost people. Legalism only makes it worse. If you read the New Testament, you'll see that Paul was furious at people that put unneccessary burdens on believers. Like you need Jesus AND circumcision to be saved, or Jesus AND the Old Testament dietary laws, or Jesus AND going to church on Saturday... you get my point.

I don't claim to be a Bible scholar. I don't think I will ever call myself that. But I am a student of the Bible. God in His grace and mercy has given me the knowledge I have. I do know one thing, that complicating the Gospel message is rediculous.

All Jacked Up

2007-07-06T13:22:00.000-05:00

It's been an interesting few days. Bekah threw a temper tantrum a few days ago and threw her head back, smashing me in the cheekbone, and it's turned into a bit of a shiner. Tough kid!

It's been great to be able to talk to my Dad and Theresa every week over the webcam. Pretty soon we will have it set up so that my Dad and I can talk while we're gaming online! Considering we do it every Sunday afternoon, it will be great to catch up.

Feeling terrible today. Might be a virus. But it's all good.

We're trusting God to do HUGE things in the near future... more about that soon.

July already?

2007-06-30T11:49:00.000-05:00

Wow, time is flying! I can't believe it's already July! Time to make some sparkler bombs!!! ..er.. just kidding... I don't want to blow my hand off. If you know how to make those, there's a high probability that you are a redneck.

I'm excited that Crosspointe's prospective pastor will be preaching July 8th. I am very interested in what God's going to be doing there.

I am also excited that Brooke may be able to be a stay-at-home mom soon. She was created to be one, and Bekah's health would be so much better. The doctor said she's only allergic to cats, but I don't think they tested to see if she was allergic to oxygen :P Needless to say, she's sick a lot and would benefit greatly from staying home.

I'm excited that I may be able to be a part of Freedom Church sooner than I expected. God is doing things that will ultimately point to Him when all is said and done.

I'll try and post more in the future.

I'm alive... I promise!

2007-06-20T16:59:00.003-05:00

Haven't posted in a while. Let's just say that had I posted before now, I would have said things that weren't said in love and would have had to write an apology post. Now I am beginning to deal with that situation (and by that I mean my feelings towards it) and am therefore able to blog again.

so......

What's up with those Yankees? Can they turn their season around??

Oh nevermind. I haven't ever talked about sports in my blog and I don't intend to start. Sorry about that. Oh yes, I am as ADHD as ever.

So here's a few things in no particular order:
1. It really makes me sad that some people have no vision.
2. I'm beginning to see what a waste of time it is to spend energy on things that distract us from our real purpose: bringing the Gospel to a lost and dying world. Yes, I have a hobby. No, I will not respond to every single doctrinal controversy.
3. I can't wait to be a part of Freedom Church! As soon as God makes a way, we'll be there!
4. Having my computer back is awesome. Even though I have to use my living room TV as a monitor.
5. I believe music is one of the most incredible things that God created. Music moves me in so many different ways. It is a part of my life that will always be there.

Well, I was shooting for 10, but I fell short. There's more to come, though.

Read This...

2007-06-07T13:48:00.000-05:00

Great post from Perry Noble.

I would reccommend it to anyone.

Feels like a monday..

2007-05-24T16:36:00.000-05:00

Man, I'm tired. Stayed up late last night. There's an interesting story behind that, though...

I decided to go to bed, but to check to make sure my truck was locked first. So I stepped out onto the balcony outside my apartment so my remote would work, and made sure it was locked. Then I turned around to go in and realized that I had locked the door behind me and I didn't have a key. So here I was, 12:30 or so at night in my boxers and a t-shirt locked out of my apartment and Brooke and Bekah are sound asleep inside. I knocked for a few minutes and then sat in the truck (it was the only place I could open!) and contemplated sleeping in there, but it was WAY too uncomfortable. So I went back upstairs and knocked/banged on the door until my wife let me in. This experience definitely makes the "dumbest stuff I ever did" list.

..On a separate note, what's up with this whole global warming thing? I mean, people on both sides of the issue claim that scientists concur with THEIR point of view. I understand that the scientific community is divided on this issue, but both sides seem to insinuate that the entire scientific community is behind them! Also with the exception of one politician, it seems like all Democrats believe in global warming and all Republicans don't.. Weird stuff. As for me, I don't know what to believe without actually looking into it.

mi declaración oficial

2007-05-21T09:08:00.000-05:00

A quien pueda interesar:

No puedo hablar para cualquier persona , sino que no soy un idiota. Toma a persona realmente elegante para hacer para arriba una historia sobre raccoons y lanzadores propulsados cohete del burrito.

¡Haha, usted ganso tonto! ¡Usted puede ningún uso más largo el lenguaje español como arma contra mí!

Su error probará costoso cuando los raccoons asumen el control el mundo.

..To my non-Spanish-speaking friends, please disregard. :D

Effort and Faith..

2007-05-15T13:44:00.000-05:00

According to the Bible, we are saved by faith and not of works, and yet according to the book of James, our works prove our faith. Jesus said in John 15 that apart from Him we can do nothing. Paul said in Philippians that he could do "all things through Christ who strengthens me."

It seems to me there is a fine line somewhere between effort and faith in the life of a Christian.

Am I crazy? Don't answer that question. But seriously, where is the middle ground? I know that anything done in our strength does not please God, because we cannot please Him without faith and our works before God are as filthy rags. But to trust God to provide all of our needs (which He said He will) without taking any action whatsoever is to be lazy.

I'm trying to find this balance, and I strongly believe that God is actively teaching me this at this point in my life. I have been at both ends of the spectrum. From what I understand, when we live a life totally surrendered to God and obedient to the prompting of the Holy Spirit, we will find that balance. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I grasp this concept with my mind, but it still has not fully come into the realm of personal experience.

I know this- at the end of my life, I want to be able to rest confidently in the fact that I did what God called me to do no matter what, and that peoples' lives were changed because of it.

*To those of you who have posted responses to my previous posts, I just want to let you know I've read them, and I could respond, but this dialogue will never reach an end. I am choosing to move on with a new focus on what it means to live a life that pleases God and brings Him glory. That dialogue might continue on others' pages, but not on mine.*

Why can't the Bible mean what it says?

2007-05-11T09:30:00.000-05:00

Acts 17
30"Therefore having overlooked the times of ignorance, God is now declaring to men that all people everywhere should repent,
31because He has fixed a day in which He will judge the world in righteousness through a Man whom He has appointed, having furnished proof to all men by raising Him from the dead."

Why would God command everyone everywhere to repent if some were not able to repent?

I'm sure the 16 comments I'm going to get on this one are going to be very interesting.

More Evidence

2007-05-09T09:21:00.000-05:00

1 John 2 (New American Standard Bible)
New American Standard Bible (NASB)
Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation
1 John 2
Christ Is Our Advocate
1My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous;
2and He Himself is the propitiation for our sins; and not for ours only, but also for those of the whole world.

Is this out of context?

"Sound Doctrine"

2007-05-08T09:24:00.000-05:00

Seems to me like the more I try to learn about God and the Bible, the more questions I end up with. Truly God's ways are higher than ours. But that's not an excuse to neglect Bible study. Just a statement that we will never fully understand God. Never. We can study the Bible our whole life and many things about God will still be a mystery to us.

God cannot be summarized by five points. God cannot fit in the mental boxes we try to place around Him.

I read a post, and I can't remember whose it was, but I believe it was Mark Batterson talking about sideways energy. Energy spent discussing/arguing over doctrine instead of using it to further God's kingdom. Titus 3:9-11 says it all.

I want to be careful that what is going on in discussions is good in some way and not just a pointless argument. There's going to be a point very soon where Jeff and I have said all we have to say to each other. After that it would be easy to argue. But I won't.

Jeff and I are going to debate his point of view in a couple of weeks in JC's sunday school class. After that, 95% of the discussion will be over. The discussion has been enjoyable because we have both grown because of it.

So my focus should be God's kingdom. Not fighting over doctrine. Why? God has commanded it in the Bible.

THAT is sound doctrine.

2007-05-07T12:17:00.000-05:00

6 For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.

This is Romans 5:6.

My question is this: Wouldn't this be a good opportunity to interject something about Jesus not dying for all people if that were true? If Christ died for the ungodly, which according to Romans 3:9-18 is everyone, that proves Jesus died for everyone.

Maybe I haven't heard the best explanation of the Calvinist view, but so far it seems as though logic is left out. For example, when someone explains the Calvinist view of irresistable grace to me, it is explained sort of like this: "When God reveals His goodness and all He is to you, you will chose him." Further questioning on my part reveals that there is no free will involved. So here you go-

If people can't say no, is it a choice? NO!

It baffles me, to say the least. I am still continuing to dialogue in the hope of better understanding this point of view.

If Jesus died for everyone (Romans 3) and everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved (Romans 10) then a view of Romans 9 that does not fit the chapters surrounding it is incorrect.

Choice

2007-05-03T09:57:00.000-05:00

The last two posts on Jeff's blog are about the theological topic of election. The point of view expressed in these two posts is one similar to Calvinism or Reformed Theology. Here are the cliff notes, so to speak:

-God chose who would go to heaven and hell before time began.
-People cannot resist choosing God when He draws them.
-If you are not one of the elect (chosen) you cannot choose God, ever.
-Jesus only died for the elect.

I have a few problems with this line of thinking. I believe it is an attack on God's character and is fatalistic, to say the least. If these statements were truth, then no one is responsible for their own destiny.

Here's some of the evidence to the contrary:

First Timothy Chapter 2 (emphasis mine):
1 Therefore I exhort first of all that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks be made for all men, 2 for kings and all who are in authority, that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and reverence. 3 For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, 4 who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. 5 For there is one God and one Mediator between God and men, the Man Christ Jesus, 6 who gave Himself a ransom for all, to be testified in due time, 7 for which I was appointed a preacher and an apostle—I am speaking the truth in Christ[a]and not lying—a teacher of the Gentiles in faith and truth.

Deuteronomy 30 19-20 (emphasis mine)
19 I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live; 20 that you may love the LORD your God, that you may obey His voice, and that you may cling to Him, for He is your life and the length of your days; and that you may dwell in the land which the LORD swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to give them.”

Proverbs 1:29
29 Because they hated knowledge
And did not choose the fear of the LORD,
[trust me, this is not out of context; read it for yourself.]

Throughout the Bible the relationship between God and His people has been illustrated as a marriage, a binding relationship where both parties involved make a conscious choice. God is seen as the jealous husband of Israel in the Old Testament and as the Bridegroom in the New Testament.

2 Peter
Read this whole book, especially chapter 3. The book speaks of living a life that brings glory to God because God's judgment is coming on this world and all people.

3:9 shows God's patience and His desire:
The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.

God is longsuffering (patient) with us because He desires everyone to repent and give their lives to Him.

But here's my main point. Romans chapter 9 is used by some to support Calvinism, but I would like to hear the explanation of chapter 10: (emphasis mine again)
that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. 11 For the Scripture says, “Whoever believes on Him will not be put to shame.”12 For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek, for the same Lord over all is rich to all who call upon Him. 13 For “whoever calls on the name of the LORD shall be saved.”

Confession is a choice. A view of Romans 9 that supports Calvinist theology conflicts with a Biblical view of Romans 10.

God is awesome.

Random Monday Thoughts.

2007-04-30T10:03:00.000-05:00

In no particular order, here goes:

-My wife and I have seen at least five movies in the last four nights. That's more than we've seen in the last four months. Most were really good. Click with Adam Sandler was really good- it makes you really think hard about what you're doing with your life. Coulda done without some of the other stuff in it though. Laughed so hard I cried at one part.

-I have GOT to get a Nintendo Wii. Andrew came over Saturday night and it was probably the coolest thing I've seen in a long time. Not to mention the exercise you get doing it. My muscles are still sore from some of the games we played!

-It's really strange that our interim pastor's leaving without us having a full time pastor. The next few weeks should be really interesting.

-This wednesday is going to be my last wednesday playing at H20. Sad times, but I need to focus on the road ahead since I may not be here much longer. The next place I will play at isn't opening until next year. Plenty of time to practice and bring my A game.

-Every day is a spiritual battle. Unfortunately, I've spent too long pretending it doesn't exist. God is really opening my eyes on this. There are plans in place to try to take me out. Spiritually speaking. Gotta be on the offensive always.

-Todd and JR are no longer pastors at Crosspointe. Weird. Seems like they've been there forever. Can't wait to see what Freedom Church looks like.

Hopefully I'll post another excerpt from Velvet Elvis tomorrow.

Trampoline

2007-04-24T16:40:00.000-05:00

Here's one of the concepts presented in Velvet Elvis.

The first chapter explains two perspectives on living the Christian life using two everyday objects- springs and bricks. These objects are specifically used to symbolize doctrine. Springs (doctrine) are not the point. They help us understand the point. "They can be examined. They can be probed. They flex and stretch."

Bricks are what they are, take them or leave them. Bricks are "fixed in size. They can't flex or change size or they can't fit into the wall." If you remove one brick, the wall is weaker and may crumble. You have to accept the whole wall or none of it. Sometimes this leads to situations where "Often it appears as though you have to agree with all of the bricks excactly as they are or you can't join."

Making doctrine number one instead of focusing on building God's kingdom is rediculous. Jesus didn't isolate Himself in the temple with His followers, condemning the outside world and making no real effort to make a lasting impact, but that's what you see in many churches.

The Bible can be trusted. The Bible stands up to critical examination.

Instead of condemning this world, we should be all engaging in an ongoing dialogue about God and the Bible. It should be open to everyone, regardless of personality or beliefs.

Doctrine is important. But if it's number one, then chances are there's pride involved and you believe you're earning God's favor (which is impossible by the way!)

The Christian life is like a trampoline. It's fun. It's scary. It's dangerous at times. But it's fun.

Invite people to jump with you, and watch God do awesome things.

Sunday Night...

2007-04-23T11:26:00.000-05:00

Yesterdat was a great day. Sunday school was like Royal Rumble 63, but we had some pretty good conversation about God giving us power through the Holy Spirit to live a life we could not live in our own strength.

We (the H20 band) played at the sunday night worship service. It went really well, except for ten seconds of awkward silence that was due to a video that was on the order of worship that got mysteriously left out. But overall, it was awesome. To God be the glory

Bekah got her ears pierced. I fought it as long as I could, but when I got home from church, there she was, and I couldn't be mad because they looked so beautiful on her. That's okay, because I'm going to get my adams apple pierced with a silver bullet.

If you just believed that statement, then look up "gullible" in the dictionary.

Re-reading Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell. Great book. I'll probably post a quote tomorrow.

Taking risks

2007-04-20T09:33:00.000-05:00

So here I am, knowing what God has called me to do but not the how. But to be passive would be laziness and a twisted view of God as this slot machine in the sky that just hands stuff to us. So I'm going to take advantage of an opportunity that has come up and pursue the dream/vision/calling God has given me. I have a few weeks to plan this little trip, and then the rubber hits the road. But God's in control. It seems like every once in a while God allows life to get crazy enough that it feels like it's spinning out of control just so He can remind us that He's in control.

Looking back, I get a lot of comfort from that.

Amazing

2007-04-17T17:09:00.000-05:00

This guy makes me sick. I should be able to play like that.

This further reinforces my desire to get actual lessons.

Hope you enjoyed the randomness of this post.

My Dad

2007-04-17T08:23:00.000-05:00

After what happened to my computer over the weekend, I sent an email to my Dad yesterday and expected wrath to follow, because he and Theresa gave us that computer. What I did not expect was an incredible amount of grace.

I'm going to take this opportunity to tell you about my Dad and where God has taken him over the years, in the hopes that someone reading this will be inspired and encouraged.

My Mom and Dad divorced when I was about a year and a half. Shortly thereafter, my Dad enlisted in the Army. I didn't see him very much growing up- a week or two here and there, every month or so usually unless he was stationed out of the area. But when he was in town, we had a blast, he would spoil me rotten :D and let me stay up late, play video games, etc. I always cried the night he left. What great times we had. During those times, he was more my buddy-Dad than discipline-Dad. I mean, if you had only a short time to spend with your kid, would you be a disciplinarian?

Then at the age of 15 or 16 (1998 or 1999 I think) I left home and went to live with my Dad in Virginia. Things had been going crazy between my Mom and I and it was definitely the best for everyone's sanity. So my Dad and Theresa (his girlfriend at the time) take in this wild and crazy teenager suffering from depression/anxiety and ADHD all at the same time. I drove them crazy! But more often than not, we got along. They were huge supporters of the band I was in at the time (a hardcore metal band, btw :D) and went to 2 out of our 4 shows (gotta love high school bands).

Then my Dad got a job transfer to Tennessee as a Navy contractor. So the day after I graduated highschool we moved out here to the Memphis area. My Dad helped me get a job on base as a data entry person, and my boss invited me to church where I encountered a loving God who wanted a personal relationship with me and forgave all my sins, changing my life forever.

So I came home and told them about what had happened and they were supportive, but not wholeheartedly. They thought I was crazy for giving my money to a church. My Dad in particular supported me but the new faith I had found he said was just not for him. I invited them to church over and over and over again, and my Dad came sometimes and I was so excited because I wanted him to know this God that I know, but time after time he rejected what God wanted to do in his life. He just wasn't ready.

But one day (march 03 I think) he and Theresa both got saved and they literally became a new creation. They couldn't get enough of the Bible and prayer and living for God. They encouraged and inspired me and still do to this day.

My Dad, obeying God's will, moved to Sicily, Italy to a job God wanted him to do. It was an incredibly tough, stretching time (and still is), but amazing benefits are already being made known- when they get back, Theresa will be able to homeschool Bekah, they will be able to get out of debt, and wherever we are, they can move to the nearest Navy base.

My Dad and I have become super close. He is like a best friend to me. He's an incredible example of what it means to follow God with everything you have and everything you are. He shows me what God's grace looks like when he quickly forgives me for doing something stupid (ex: computer!). He shows me so much about God as our Father.

Dads, you make such an impact on your kids. Never forget that. God used me to draw my Dad to Himself. God uses my Dad to draw me closer to Him. Only eternity will show what an impact he has made.

Zeus broke my computer!

2007-04-16T15:14:00.000-05:00

Sorry, just wanted to put that in a title. What actually happened was, my computer experienced a power surge during the storm over the weekend. So yesterday I came in and pushed the power button on my computer tower and nothing. Naturally I freaked out. My life is on that pc! Pictures, resumes, games, etc.

I think things are starting to get better, though. Today, Andrew took some readings with his multimeter ( I think those come with one of these) and it looks like it might only have a bad power supply. Basically, I might only have to replace one part instead of hundreds of dollars' worth of parts!

I have a feeling that God's using this time to purify me for serving Him. Not the computer time really, it's more than that. There's a lot of crazy stuff going on that can only be accomplished/resolved by God. Please pray that I would be obedient to His instruction.

Update on Life in General

2007-04-12T15:50:00.000-05:00

Had a great time at the Grizzlies game. JR and Todd got to race each other in giant blow-up hamster balls on the court in front of thousands of people. See, I told you I would have something interesting to blog about!

Something God has been dealing with me about is doing things with excellence. So many things around us suffer because of a lack of this. Churches, for example. I see many churches that do a lot of ministries well, but none with excellence. Stuff like that calls for a laser approach rather than a shotgun one. There's a great book about this subject called Simple Church. It's great. It will change the way you look at church, in a good way.

So, back to me. I feel overwhelmed a lot with the responsibilities that I have, and I believe I'm not alone in this. For example, here's my week:

Monday- work, church meeting
Tuesday- work, informal band practice
Wednesday -off (thank God!), band practice, H2O
Thursday- work
Friday - work
Saturday - work
Sunday - church, sunday school

*Keep in mind, I have a wife and a soon-to-be 2 year old daughter at home, so anything can happen! Sleep is a precious commodity! We get a lot more now that Bekah's older, but the poop still hits the fan sometimes.

Should I feel overwhelmed? Probably not. Some might say that my perspective's messed up, and they're right. I mean, we're supposed to look at things from God's point of view, not through our circumstances, right? What about prioritizing time with family? What about prioritizing Bible study?

As a man of 24 I haven't figured all of this out yet. But this I do know- in a rush to "do things for God," I feel like my life has been hijacked. Work feels like such a waste of time to me, and God's showing me how to work for Him in the meantime, while I'm waiting on Him to make a way for the dreams He's given me. The Bible overwhelms me at times, just for the sheer amount of God-given information contained in it and my impatience to learn it all ASAP doesn't help very much.

In the midst of this chaos (my perspective again), God is shaping me into who He wants me to be. I'm a stubborn idiot more than I'd like to admit, but changes are inevitable. I thought the other night, what if this was the moment I made a decision that changed the rest of my life, a huge decision?

I've got more questions than answers. I don't think I've ever needed God to come through so much as right here, right now.

There's a Skillet song that says, "How can I tell you just all that you are?" answer: EVERYTHING. That fact stands, independent of my intellectual assent or my feelings.

I take comfort that in the midst of my struggle, God is right here with me.

The Grizz

2007-04-10T11:45:00.000-05:00

Tonight JR, Todd, Andrew and I are going to a Grizzlies game. I'm not a huge sports fan, but I love watching sports/going to games in group settings. Yeah, I'm weird like that. So get ready for an interesting post tomorrow. I can guarantee it.

Just another holiday?

2007-04-07T11:27:00.000-05:00

Holidays are interesting. They fill our hardwired desire to celebrate/commemmorate important events. And like anything else, these good desires can be twisted into some messed up stuff. Like St. Patrick's day- who REALLY knows who he was? To many people the holiday's just an excuse to get drunk on green beer. Or here's a big one- Valentine's day. It's a great idea- encourage men to consolidate all of their affection on their wife/girlfriend into one day, and create an expectation for women to receive something expensive. Anyone else see the problems with that one? Every day should be a "valentine's day" in marriage. And that is something that I am one of the biggest idiots about sometimes, but that's for another post.

But what about Easter? People are divided about it. Some choose to give gifts to their kids and say that they were from the Easter bunny and make it a fun holiday for their kids. Some choose not to celebrate Easter at all because of its pagan origins, choosing to split hairs. The third group of people choose to celebrate the death and resurrection of Jesus and the hope it brings for the world. I could be cliche and say that the best gift to give your kids is the resurrection message. Just did, as a matter of fact.

But seriously, what are we really celebrating? Do we take the resurrection lightly? Are we living each day in light of this? In a world where emotional circumstances are validated above absolute truth and so many things competing for our attention crowd out God's still small voice, it's so important to never get over what Jesus has done for us. His scars PROVE his love for us!

Celebrate Easter tomorrow, but be REAL about it! God forgive those of us who have become complacent, myself included.

I'm so excited about teaching this tomorrow- the message of the Resurrection is one of those things that if it becomes personal, than someone's eternity will be affected for the glory of God!

Vision

2007-04-03T12:22:00.000-05:00

I learned a sobering lesson in vision yesterday. Something that I've been praying about for weeks has hit a brick wall. The proverbial door has been slammed in my face. So I had (and have) to step back and see things from God's perspective. I was depressed when I received the bad news in an email yesterday morning, but by the end of the day, God had shown me that He was testing me to see whether I was committed to the vision God has given me or to a job.

Now I'm encouraged. But here's the tough part- I have to totally surrender this whole situation to God and agree to go wherever He wants me. Even if there's no going involved. Because if God's not with me, then it's pointless to go. But this vision consumes me and it's all I can think about sometimes. And really, if we didn't experience any roadblocks or hardships during this time of transition, what would it be other than a handout from God?

God doesn't give handouts!

Every circumstance that takes place is designed to bring us closer to Him, whether it's giving your life to Him for the first time or anywhere else along the journey. Suffering purifies us and makes us more aware of our dependence on God. Like it says in John 15 "Apart from me, you can do nothing."

I thank God for this time of hardship. As I always say, change is better than business as usual.

As a sidenote, I'm so glad God gives us a choice. Insert your own personal application here.

By the way..

2007-03-29T14:56:00.000-05:00

Steven Furtick had an awesome post today. It's especially sobering for parents. Read it!

Too Random for a Title

2007-03-29T13:16:00.000-05:00

H20 went great last night. My wife had an allergic reaction to the grass seeds (JR was talking about the parable of the sower) but she's allergic to everything. Including Alaskan camels. Even though they don't even exist.

So much stuff going on in my life right now. I'm going to have some news on a huge opportunity in the next couple of days. News that could change everything. Exciting, to say the least.

My tailbone is strangely not really hurting me at the moment. It's like a ninja that strikes at the most opportune time and then goes into hiding. Terrible analogy. Wow.

Hmm... what other random thoughts to post? Oh yeah. I love when people argue (discuss) about theological topics in the Bible. It's great because it challenges me to study on my own and grow. And by the way, anyone who is pointing out all kinds of problems in the church today better darn well be part of the solution. Nuff said.

More random blogs to follow. Count on it.

The tail bone's connected to the..

2007-03-27T14:13:00.000-05:00

Having an interesting day because my tailbone feels like someone hit it with a sledgehammer. Somebody get me a donut! Oooh...Doonutss... * sorry. I was daydreaming. :D So yeah I have to get xrays sometime next week. Should be great. I can picture it now:

"Mr. Currie, your tailbone is in ten thousand pieces all over your spinal column. Sucks to be you." (no, my doctor would never say that!)

or
"Mr. Currie, looks like we have to take out your spleen. Why? Oh, no reason. Just because."

It's a pretty good bet that none of those situations will happen. If the second one does, I'm changing my name to Spleenless Joe Jackson.

I can't sit down. I can't stand up. I can't walk. [cries like a sissy].

Oh well. I'll just look like Mr. Roboto tomorrow night. Shouldn't be much of a difference since I am the whitest white guitar player when it comes to stage presence. I need lessons or something.

I might have something very interesting to post Thursday. We'll see.

I have had enough.

2007-03-22T11:03:00.000-05:00

There comes a point where the line has been crossed and action must be taken . I am there. Last year I went on Nutrisystem for three months and dropped 40+ pounds. It was great. Then I slipped back into my normal (read: terrible) diet routine and gained some of it back. I ignored it mostly for a while but here's the kicker:

I went into Buckle yesterday, where the salesman politely pointed me to the back of the store where the "relaxed fit section" was.

HE CALLED ME FAT!!!

There's no doubt about it! It didn't sting until later when I actually thought about it.

So now begins my new lifestyle, because going on a diet doesn't do anything except waste time and money. This leads me to my next topic:

NEWSFLASH: AMERICA WANTS YOU TO BE FAT!

It's true! You can buy a 500 calorie burrito at Wal-Mart for a DOLLAR but if you buy a Lean Cuisine or Healthy Choice dinner its at LEAST twice as much! You can buy a box of Ho-Ho's for less than two bucks and that's like 2000 calories! What is wrong with this picture? Apparently it's cheaper to be fat than to be in shape. No wonder obesity is so rampant in America. Not to mention, churches would NEVER mention that gluttony is a sin! Then most pastors would have to man up and get on the treadmill!

So here goes- those of you who read this blog get to come with me on my journey to graduate out of the relaxed fit section. More interesting posts to follow.

Must have been that chili banana smoothie...

2007-03-19T08:19:00.000-05:00

Man, I was sick as a dog this weekend. So sick you could have shot a zombie flick at my house. I rarely get sick, but when I do, it's not pretty. I am glad to be well again, and appreciate the weight I've lost by methods I do not wish to reveal due to their graphic content.

I'm having one of those days. You know, those days where you see past the circumstances and gaze pensively at the big picture. I bought the new Relient K album (really good stuff) and there was a song that basically said that no one told him what giving too much(to God) looked like so he was going to give until there was nothing left.

Naturally, this caused certain thoughts to pop into my mind: "What does giving everything look like?" "Have I ever done this?" Let's be real- I don't think I'm the only one asking this. So now comes the part where I search the Bible for what it means to live that kind of life.

We live in a world where so many things pull for your attention. Especially if you have a spouse and kid(s) at home! So many times I surround myself with things that bring temporary entertainment but eventually I end up staring at the brick wall of discontent and the realization that nothing can really bring me fulfillment like living each day in the presence of God and carving out special time for us.

I guess that's one part of the answer I'm looking for.

One day to live

2007-03-12T09:30:00.000-05:00

Yesterday's lesson in Fuel (sunday school) was about the last teachings of Jesus. You know, the ones He taught after the Last Supper until He was betrayed by Judas. Intentional teachings meant to prepare His disciples for life without His physical presence and illustrate some incredible truths about the Christian faith. He also prays for them and for future followers. This is all in John 14-17.

I was trying to get the students in a last day mindset where they had one day to live and so I asked them what they would do. About 95% of the guys said stuff to get a reaction or to get attention, but at least one really thought about it and gave an honest answer. One guy whose name I will not mention said that he would get high, repent, and praise the Lord the rest of the day. See what I mean about trying to get a reaction? Of course, we talked afterwards and he assured me he wasn't serious.

Can I use a class of about 20 guys to draw conclusions about the teenage mind? Well if I can, then the average teenager isn't thinking about death or eternity. I know I wasn't at their age. This is why it's so important to effectively communicate the Gospel to teenagers because if you don't get their attention and make them think and take a hard look at themselves, they might not think about eternity until tragedy strikes or until they get older. And no one knows exactly how long we are going to live. What an incredible responsibility. Pray for your leaders.

I think it's time I started releasing my own line of recommended Sonic drinks.

Banana smoothie with Chili and Jalepeno peppers.
Great for a morning shake right before your morning hurl.

I Shall Be Sore Tommorrow

2007-03-09T10:11:00.000-06:00

At least that's what the King James version of my blog would say.

I have some heavy lifting to do tonight- Andrew, Mike Stewart, and maybe some other people are going to meet me at my Dad & Theresa's soon-to-be-former house and pick up their tv and their washer and dryer. So I'm 99% sure that I'm going to herniate something.

I'm in a situation right now that the only way things are going to move forward is if God orchestrates it. Which is good, because I'm only just learning how to wait on God's timing.

Crap.

2007-03-06T15:38:00.000-06:00

Interestingly enough, the hardware didn't work with my computer. Neither one. Sometimes life gets really frustrating.

We're getting a refund and ordering new hardware.

World=1 Nerd=0

Can't win 'em all.

I am a nerd.

2007-03-06T10:22:00.000-06:00

Yes, it's true. I know some of you are absolutely shocked. I'm really excited because some new hardware for my computer is coming in today. Now I'll be able to play video games in hi-res (I'm pretty sure this is a nerd word).

My Mom is staying with us for a week starting today, which I enjoy because she lives in the far-away state of Connecticut. She's going to try to get Bekah fully potty trained, so pray for her! That would be super cool, because one of my least favorite things to do is to change diapers ten million times a day. She's growing so fast, and she's starting to be able to ask for things, which takes the guesswork out of the equation. For all of you non-parents, when cute cuddly baby turns into non-stop crying baby you have to go down the list of things they might want. Fun, fun, fun. Take it from me.

Perry Noble wrote a great blog today. Read it.

Wow, I figured out how to put links in my blog! Cool!

Really looking forward to playing at H20 tomorrow. Going to be a good set as long as no one makes any last minute changes :D

2007-03-02T09:20:00.000-06:00

Tonight's going to be great- Bekah and I get to spend some Daddy-daughter time because Brooke is going out to eat with some friends of hers. I never thought I would be 24 with a nearly two-year-old. But Bekah is the most beautiful kid on the face of the planet, and she brings us so much joy on a daily basis. Plus she's a Currie- she acts crazy until she gets a reaction (usually a laugh) and then repeats it as many times as she can until she gets bored. It's hilarious, because she still does stuff that made us laugh 3 months ago, and it still works.

I also want to celebrate the fact that our store has gone one month without a break-in. We have had two in the past four months, both on the day we scan in inventory. Go figure.

I'm looking forward to teaching this week. I'm interested to see whether the talk I had with everyone last week will make a difference in their behavior. I'm also bringing my night stick. :D

I'm excited about what God's doing in my life. Like I read in Perry Noble's blog today, "The tomb is empty, so nothing's impossible."

Sunday school, UFC style

2007-02-26T09:34:00.000-06:00

I had the incredible privelege of teaching Todd's discipleship class yesterday morning. Besides the fact that I was fighting sleep when I got to church, it went really well. One thing I'm discovering more and more about myself is I LOVE to teach. In an environment where kids want to listen. Sometimes my class gets pretty crazy- wait, who am I kidding? It's every week! It's been a frustrating experience because I want to encourage them and show them kindness and compassion they might not receive at home or at school. So up until this week I have kept my cool and just taught as much as I could get in, even if it was only five minutes.

This week was a little different.

I went in there and of course it was chaos- there were soda bottles flying through the air and someone was turning the light on and off, among other things. The first thing I did was clearly state that we had to keep it really orderly in there because there were probably 25+ guys in there, and most of them enjoy farting just so that everyone has to smell it, for example. So after I said that, things stayed the same, and I just knew that I had to let them have it so we could get some order and we could talk about things that would encourage/challenge them spiritually.

There are five or six kids in particular(all from my class) that are the worst of the worst and I wish I had a picture of their faces, because they were pretty surprised. Well after I said my piece about the same kids disrupting every week and how parents were going to be contacted if it didn't stop, 50-75% of the kids became perfect little angels. Of course, the bad group of kids kept at it, and I had to kick one of them out (I HATE doing that because they miss out on the lesson and I don't want them to feel rejected). It was rough going the rest of the way, but we got to have a great conversation about being a Christian and how you need to know what the Bible says about living God's way to be successful. I know that kids their age don't memorize a lot of Scripture, but no one could give me a single verse that gave a practical way to live the Christian life. That says something.

I think that it has something to do with American culture. You need to be 18 to be an adult and responsible for your actions, and not too much is expected of you before then except for going to school and staying out of trouble. I don't think that parents are challenging their kids to dust off their copy of the Bible (if they have one) and really find out what/who God calls us to be as Christ-followers. Maybe some parents are trying and their kids are just stubborn- I don't know. But it's really apparent that regardless of the circumstances, the Bible has yet to become personal to many of these kids. I take some responsibility for that. God just had to wake me up to get me to realize this.

After all was said and done and class was over, there was a kid that came up to me and talked to me for the first time. I had earned his respect for standing up for myself in class.

IT WAS ALL WORTH IT.

2007-02-22T10:33:00.000-06:00

I hate missing H20. I had to work yesterday which made me unable to play. It frustrates me to no end. But you know, hearing that 8 people got saved last night encouages me, not only that God is still doing great things in H20 but that everything runs smoothly without me. Jeff Hill is the man when it comes to last minute organization. Well almost.

I have the awesome privelege of teaching Todd's discipleship class Sunday morning. I love that environment because for the most part everyone is excited about learning or at least they let me talk. Sometimes I want to take a nightstick to the head of every one of my guys in my normal class. But I guess you can't blame them when our motto is "Here- have 400 donuts. Now sit still and shut up even though you have ADHD!" I love them anyway. Besides, God uses frustrating situations to grow us.

I'm very tired today. I tend to be a night owl sometimes, and last night was one of those. I've been busy leveling up my Everquest 2 character so that when my Dad gets set up in Italy, we can play internationally. We have played video games together since I was 7 years old. Good ol' 1989. So it's sort of a sentimental thing, you could say.

Control

2007-02-17T10:20:00.000-06:00

We live in a society obsessed with control. Remote control, video game controller, climate control, birth control, crowd control, volume control- we control EVERYTHING! It truly takes effort to release control and allow God to do things His way. For many of us, all of our basic needs are provided, and we can easily choose every day to be self-reliant and do things our own way.

What if we gave up?

What if guys let their wives use the remote? (No, the world would not explode!)

What if we spent more time allowing God to change us through prayer and Bible study?

The unknown is terrifying at times. But allowing fear or lack of control to paralyze us is unacceptable. God is a big God- everything exists in His presence. He has BIG plans for each of us. But we accept mediocrity. We accept average. We accept less than God's best.

Personally, I would rather live a life striving to follow Jesus with countless failures than to accept the safe, numbing control that we use to put ourselves in God's place. I don't want to get to the end of my life with the overwhelming regret and questions of "What if?"

The problem sometimes with releasing control is that we instantly move into the realm of faith. We cannot weigh or measure faith with instruments. We cannot put it in a jar or a magic prosperity prayer cloth. We have to actually believe the Bible and live like it's true. Well it is, right?

My narrow escape from death

2007-02-12T09:43:00.000-06:00

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I could have taped a particular five-minute segment of my morning routine today and either won money or proved that God has plans for me because I didn't die.

Okay, here's what happened. Today was kind of a "Murphy's Law" sort of day. I woke up late. Then I had to iron my clothes for work, so that put me even further behind schedule. I had to iron while Bekah's waffle was toasting. Then the chaos hit. I had just finished ironing my clothes, and like a typical ADHD moment, got distracted by a bottle of what I thought was cologne or aftershave. It turned out to be shower gel, and I spilled some of it on my newly-ironed shirt! So then I ran to the bathroom and tried to get it off of my shirt before it stained (it was red-tinted). So I turned on the faucet and tried to use a damp washcloth to get the gel off my shirt. It worked okay, and I grabbed my wife's hair dryer to finish the job.

Now what happened next I can't 100% remember because it happened so suddenly. I believe I knocked a ceramic mug off of the bathroom counter and it shattered on the tile floor. Apparently my reaction was to drop the hair dryer into the sink with RUNNING WATER!! So then I realized what I had done and yanked that sucker out of the sink as fast as I could and pulled the plug out of the wall so I wouldn't die a fiery electrical death.

To make matters worse, I got to work 10 minutes late, among other consequences.

My life is proof that God has a sense of humor.

3 years

2007-02-08T09:54:00.000-06:00

As of yesterday, Brooke and I have been married 3 years. I feel like an old geezer. I can't believe she's put up with me for so long! I can be one of the most hard-headed boneheads on the face of the planet sometimes, and I know that absolutely shocks you if you know me. :D

I am truly blessed to have such a great wife. God's sovereignty allows no room for coincidence, and He has given me just what I need in a wife. I am excited to do ministry together for the rest of our lives. Many times, she is a reminder to me of God's mercy and grace.

In other news- studying the Bible can be fun! Jeff Hill let me borrow John MacArthur's commentary and I am learning so much already. The past few days I have studied the first chapter of Romans. I think Jeff might have to fight me to get this thing back. :D

On a sidenote- I did not watch the Super Bowl. However, I did see the highlights later on a sports show, and let me just say, if the Bears played as good as they did in the first quarter, the Colts would have been toast. That kickoff return was insane!!

40th post!!!

2007-02-03T10:00:00.000-06:00

Yeah!! Cue the confetti!! ....I guess no one's as excited as I am. Oh well.

Last night was great. Jeff and Carmen came over to hang out last night and we all stayed up talking to like 1:30. One of the reasons Jeff and I get along so well is because we can talk about the Bible for 4 hours and still have more to say. It's interesting because he and I disagree on a lot of things, at least initially, so it fosters a lot of healthy conversation. It was a great situation that God used to increase my desire to study the Bible.

So tonight's going to be good.. My wife is going to be hanging out with a friend of hers, and I'm going to get some quality time with Bekah and some quality time studying. I can't wait until I get to the point where I get paid to study the Bible for hours every day.

Truthfully, I had better fellowship and learned more last night than I usually get/do in church. Just proof it's not about a building or a scheduled program.

God.

2007-01-28T19:58:00.000-06:00

Today was truly an amazing day.. I went to church and was able to worship more than I had been able to in a long time.

To kind of rewind back, Theresa and I sat up last night discussing God's will and how to determine it for your life. Before I laid in bed, I knelt by the window and pretty much submitted myself to God in the midst of these confusing circumstances. You know, one of those times where you and God just "do business." It was great. Matter of fact, the feeling I had was so very similar to the situation that got me writing this blog in the first place.

..So back to sunday morning. After service, I went upstairs to teach sunday school/Fuel, and I knew that I was unprepared because we had spent the night at Theresa's house and I forgot my lesson cd. "*Gasp!*" Yeah, God definitely uses me inspite of myself.

So anyway, I found out that Dan was sick or something and it turned out that there were about 26 guys total that were going to be in my class. But for some strange reason, when Todd relayed this info, I was not fazed about this. I just knew I was supposed to teach them. So Todd and I went into the room where Dan normally teaches and we packed it out. What happened next gets classified under "Holy Spirit moments." God gave me such a passion for teaching these guys the incredible life-changing truths about the death of Jesus. Why He had to die. What it means to us right here, right now.

Todd was a huge help keeping these guys in line. I almost want to consider bringing a nightstick next week, because 6-8th grade guys can get wild. :D But it went incredible, and God gave me the boldness that I needed to demand their attention and He spoke through me.

It was one of those moments that don't come very often, but they blow me away, and I always think, "I know this is what I want to be doing for the rest of my life." God once again confirms that He has called me to ministry.

Now the side effects are getting dangerous- I can't get enough of the Bible. Prayer is beating out other things for the top priority.

This whole thing about following Jesus can really wreck your life. In a good way.

2007-01-27T11:32:00.000-06:00

I had to stay home with Bekah yesterday. She has been battling this whole fever/pinkeye thing for about a week now. It was great to spend a day with her. I really don't get many full days to do that. Another highlight of the day was her dropping a glass salad dressing bottle on my big toe- I wanted to scream bad things at a high volume! But overall it was a good day.

Back at the good 'ol cell phone store today, and lets just say that people are very interesting. I believe that some people are either looking for a reason to cancel their cell phone service and switch carriers or are mad about some situation we can't control and want to hurt us the only way they know how. I am all about giving people the benefit of the doubt- even to the point that people criticize me sometimes. But that's what God does with us ALL the time- He is patient with us and sees us not as we are but as we will be.

More and more I'm seeing my heart's not here at this job. Yes, helping people is very satisfying but I want more. You see, helping people decide on a cell phone is not the most important thing. Helping people to know God in a personal, life-changing way is what I want to be doing. And some will say "You can do that at work." But my job is different. I can love people like Jesus does, but I am not able to share my faith on the job with customers unless they bring it up. Work consumes so much of my life and I feel like I'm wasting time I could be spending with my family and my friends and more importantly making a difference in this messed up world.

God has been dealing with me this week about ministry, mainly what I need to work on I guess. Looking in the book of Titus there are qualificiations for ministry, and I think I need to post those on my mirror and look at them everyday and beg God to change me. I know that no one can perfectly exemplify these characteristics. I guess I can say that without God changing me, ministry is not an option. But dependence on God is not a bad thing.

back in the saddle again

2007-01-25T10:34:00.000-06:00

Wow, great title. Coincidentally, there's an Aerosmith song with the same title that's probably referring to drug use. The reason I use it is that I'm finally back playing in H2O. YEAH!! ..that being said, last night went okay. I realized something that should have been obvious: not playing guitar (except for Guitar Hero) for a month is not good for your hands. My fingers felt like they were going to fall off during practice! Next week we're going to introduce some new songs, which is great because in my opinion we have been using the same material for at LEAST six months. It is great to be back.

Last night, when we were playing "Marvelous Light" I realized something about the song that I hadn't thought about before. Running into marvelous light takes a while for your eyes to adust because you're used to a much darker environment. Maybe that's why everything isn't so clear to us. Maybe that's why we can't see our way sometimes. We're hanging on to the past and our old selves.

This article is called "How Jesus Messed up My Life." Great article.
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god_article.php?id=7107

Ouch

2007-01-22T09:36:00.000-06:00

I'm kinda stiff and sore today from Saturday. Mike Stewart and I leveled out my Dad's driveway. It was 7 hours of labor. Well, not all 7 hours, but I know the part where I had to rake rocks kicked my butt. I know you're saying, "But you're in such good shape!" ...okay, maybe you're NOT saying that. It was pretty good fun, and we got the entire driveway done (it is huge).

I learned many things that day, including how a diesel engine works, how to pull a car with a tractor, what a "third arm" is, and many other interesting tidbits that will one day catapult me to Jeopardy stardom. But I also learned something about vision and about perseverence.

When Mike made the first pass with the boxblade, my reaction was, "this looks worse than when we started!". It began to rain/sleet, and I was wanting to call it a day. But little by little, everything came together, and at the end, I was amazed at the results.

Vision produces action. Vision produces perseverence.

The reason I was getting impatient and discouraged was that I was losing sight of what the end result was going to be and was focusing on the present, namely that my arms felt like they were going to fall off. I didn't ask, but I could almost guarantee that Mike was focusing on the end result.

Let's go deeper- how many times as Christians, as followers of Jesus, we lose sight of the big picture because we're caught up in the present? We whine and complain about our circumstances instead of trusting that God has our spiritual maturity in mind. We slow down and disengage as a church because we're "waiting for the new pastor" and forget that we are not excused from doing what God has already said to do in the Bible- teach, reach, disciple, etc. God has really dealt with me on this. This is here in my blog because I see it happening. But I also believe that there is a small bit of truth in why things have slowed down. Sometimes pastors help us to catch the vision of what God is doing. Look at Proverbs 29:18:

18 If people can't see what God is doing, they stumble all over themselves;But when they attend to what he reveals, they are most blessed.

So let's take a hard look at ourselves. Let's take action.

Strange

2007-01-16T14:43:00.000-06:00

I'm feeling kind of strange. Not sick to my stomach, but a little anxious. It's almost like all of the circumstances in my life are about to come together for an incredible thing, but I can't be 100% sure. Hindsight's 20/20 but I can't see my hand in front of my face. I feel like my whole life's a conspiracy, like God has intentionally shaped me from the beginning, and I am still being affected by things He has been bringing my way. It's like the smell of rain and the sounds of distant thunder before a storm. I'm having to continually remind myself that God is in control and I am not. I have a genuine passion for seeing lives changed by the Gospel, and it seems to be growing. And at the same time, I am nearly overwhelmed by feelings of inadequacy and that I know so little compared to how much there is to know about living a life that pleases God. The "don't's" are mostly obvious, but the "do's" are not so clearly marked. Bottom line: I am in a position where I have no other choice but to trust God and wait on Him.

Good place to be, I guess.

2007-01-13T13:37:00.000-06:00

I'm proud to report that my Dad made it safely to Sicily, but his bags are another story. They're on their way from Fort Lauderdale FL. Gotta love the transportation industry.

It's amazing how God has provided for me this week, scheduling my Dad's departure the same week my Mom was here from out of town. It's no accident. God is awesome. We're going to eat a thanksgiving-style dinner tonight, which makes me happy. It's a good ol' fashioned Yankee thanksgiving too- not any of that inferior cornbread dressing. Bekah has cheered me up many times this week too. I know I'm repeating myself, but I am amazed as I am typing this how God worked all of this out.

I've been there before, and I have come to it again- what is God's will for my life, and how do I determine it? Certainly, passively moving through life and accepting my circumstances is laziness, but on the flipside, I don't want to be doing things in my own strength without trusting God and waiting on Him. Plus, this question has got to be hard for anyone to answer exactly, because God doesn't work in everyone's life the same way He works in mine.

..so for now, I'll pray and read the Bible. 'Nuff said.

2007-01-11T16:14:00.000-06:00

Well, as of 9:10 this morning, my Dad has been on his way to Sicily for three years. Still seems unreal. I know I'm going to be emotional about it, but I really haven't yet. I have this weird mechanism that kicks in when I face situations like this where I just go emotionally numb instead of experiencing the pain that I know is there. I wasn't always aware of this, so I guess it's at least a good thing that I notice it. Life has gone back to "normal" but I can't help but wonder what these three years are for, and what God has brought him over there to do, and what He will do in our lives here because my Dad's not here. A while ago my Dad and I were talking about how this would be a perfect time for God to call me to ministry somewhere, since it would be one less thing holding me to this area. The possibilities are exciting and limitless, but the question I have to ask myself is, "What am I going to do now while I wait?" I don't really know the full answer to that yet, besides the obvious. I will say one thing- this whole situation has driven me to God's Word with new questions and great expectations. Anything less would be presenting a small picture of our awesome God. So pray for me, because this is a trying time. But also be excited, because I can't wait for what God has in store.

2007-01-08T13:50:00.000-06:00

This week is going to be a growing experience. My Dad is going to be leaving Thursday morning for Italy for 3 years. Him and I have been super close ever since he got saved. I am going to miss him so much, and I know that this whole situation is a tremendous blessing because of all of the long-term benefits, but still I find myself moving back and forth from sadness to emotional numbness, one of the ways I cope with tough situations. It almost feels unreal but I know it is. The cool things that will come out of this situation that I know right now are:

1. My Dad's going into the GS (government service) system, where he can buy back the 13 1/2 years he spent in the army and retire earlier.
2. By the time they get back (Theresa is leaving in a month or so i guess) they will be completely out of debt.
3. Theresa doesn't have to work. This will allow her to serve in the local youth ministry on base there.
4. When they get back, Bekah will be just about ready for school and Theresa will be able to homeschool her (she is our #1 choice for a great Christ-centered education)!
5. Possible vacation in Italy this year!

I'm sure there's other stuff that will surface that God will do over this time. We will all probably grow a lot closer. My Dad and I will be meeting online via Everquest 2 at least once a week.

I'm having a hard time with my Dad leaving, but I am excited about what God has in store for all of us these next few years.

2007-01-02T09:21:00.000-06:00

My new year's weekend was comical to say the least. My wife and I drove to her parents' house for the weekend on Friday night. We do our Christmas with them every year on new year's weekend. Last year I was disappointed with the fireworks I purchased so I determined that this year I would do better. I spent about 16 bucks, which can buy you a whole lot of stuff if you do it right. Well let's just say this year was worst than last year, because at least 85% of the stuff I bought emitted smoke. I wanted to buy those little balls that spark different colors when you light them, but I bought smoke balls by mistake. I bought smoke grenades (on purpose). When I was about to leave they gave me some free smoke rockets. So I was thinking, "Oh cool, you light it and it shoots up into the air and shoots smoke everywhere. WRONG. The stupid thing just sticks in the ground and pours out smoke. The smoke was so bad that my wife's asthma threatened to act up so she had to vacate the area. It gets better. I bought this 10 pack of roman candles for 5 bucks, and I guess I got what I paid for, because my hair almost caught on fire one time and had to dodge the projectiles numerous times because the wind was blowing against us. On the upside, my father-in-law and my brother and sister in law were cracking up watching this whole episode, so it was cool that God used a frustrating situation to create so much laughter and bring us all closer together.

I also finished reading Velvet Elvis while I was there. I don't believe I will ever be the same. It's a wonderful, thought-provoking book. Now some people I know have opinions about this book, but I am not done yet. I am going to re-read the book with a Bible and a Bible commentary and study for myself the references that Rob Bell presents as evidence for his worldview. I don't agree with 100% of the book but I am committed to studying and praying about the content. Even if this book turned out to be 100% crap then at least it served the purpose of creating a hunger in me to study the Bible and also to take a hard look at myself for the ways I act sometimes and look at the underlying issues. Anyone who has read this book I more than welcome discussion, because one point I do agree with in this book is that the Bible is meant to be read in a group environment.

Its weird that 07 is already here. I want to read at least 40 books this year. I also want to become an active part of making this world a better place. More than that, I want to know God better and grow.

2006-12-29T14:54:00.000-06:00

New year's eve is coming up soon... Time to hang out with family and light off some fireworks! I love playing with fire. It will be great to see my in-laws (which I DO get along with) that I haven't seen in a few months. Plus they live way out in the boondocks (<-cool word) which is great to get away from it all for a few days.

I can't help but feel that God's doing something in the background somewhere, but I don't know what it is yet. Almost like the calm before the storm. My Dad and Theresa are leaving to go to Italy for 3 years some time next month, so that will be interesting. I know God will grow me through the experience, because it is really going to suck until I learn to depend on God and trust Him at His word. Just being real. Family leaving hits you hard. But God is already putting people around me to encourage me.

I am so glad I'm not in vocational ministry yet... I feel like I know so little. There's so many opinions and interpretations and controversy and stuff going on that I'm pretty sure God's using to show me and a bunch of others what is essential and what is not.

I am blown away that God chose me, knowing everything about me. Anything good you see in my life is because of Him. The more I think about what He's done in my life, the more I want others to know Him.

2006-12-18T11:49:00.000-06:00

Wow, I feel like crap today. I just thought you'd like to know. I'm getting too old apparently, since I get all run down when I stay up late a couple of nights in a row.

Yesterday morning was interesting because our alarm didn't go off and I didn't make it to church until 11am, just in time for Fuel (sunday school). We served in the nursery last night, which was a lot of fun. It's really mind-boggling sometimes how every time something special is going on, we're scheduled to serve in the nursery. But we were needed pretty badly last night, because a lot of people are sick and they called and cancelled. So I'm glad God provided an opportunity for us to be used by Him.

2006-12-16T10:41:00.000-06:00

I thank God for Christian friends that can get together and talk about issues.

Last night I went to two discussion groups- one with Dan Nelson at church and one at JR's house. I was so excited about both, considering the issues that have been coming up lately about culture and what the church's purpose is. All of my questions weren't answered, but I have seen that it's very possible for people to have a passion for following Jesus and approach it in very different ways. We talked about Rob Bell's book Velvet Elvis, which I absolutely have to read- it sounds awesome! Also we talked about Confessions of a Reformission Rev by Mark Driscoll, which I will read also. I enjoy looking at different perspectives. I'm prepared to disagree with things they write, but I have already read a book I disagree with parts of (the Irresistible Revolution), but I got a lot of insights out of that book that I would have missed out on.

2006-12-14T14:20:00.000-06:00

Last night was amazing. It was the last wednesday night worship service in H20. The climax of the year, so to speak. Of course, being the Christmas season, we played Carol of the Bells. Not the mamby-pamby, mama's boy version, but a version similar to that of Trans-Siberian Orchestra, a heavy metal version. Personally, the lead guitar part was super challenging and, quite honestly, a bit out of my league. The circumstances surrounding this night were interesting, considering this would be the first time we had practiced this song as a band (with Brent). Practice was very frustrating, and it was apparent everyone was a little on edge, with the possible exception of Justin, who is hardly ever fazed by anything. I think he was thinking about his new girlfriend, but that's nothing but speculation. Anyway I digress.

We finished practice about 6:15pm, and it was a tense and discouraging time for many of us. God began to impress upon me strongly that we needed to pray as a band. I rounded everyone up and we all got in a circle to pray. Even Jeff was in a weird mood and wasn't wanting to lead us in prayer, so I did. Then we all went our separate ways to pray individually. And I really prayed. I have such a short attention span sometimes during prayer, I just get to thinking about other things. But not this time. It was real, honest, sincere prayer, desiring God to move in an incredible way. Based on recent times, I can't call myself a man of prayer. But I got it right last night. I was butchering the lead guitar part in practice, but it went amazingly, and I was blown away watching my fingers hit the notes on the guitar. God answered my prayer. The set went really well. To God be the glory.

It was interesting that J.R. talked about prayer last night too... I guess I have no other choice but to accept that God was teaching me about prayer last night in two different ways.

On a side note, it is very interesting to be in the midst of a debate about how Christians should present the gospel to the people around them. Apparently it's getting pretty heated, considering J.R. has taken a lot of heat for the one he posted yesterday about this. Apparently, we need to use the same traditions and methods for reaching the lost as we did in 1836. Anyone who feels differently is apparently "loving the world." God help us.

2006-12-12T11:22:00.000-06:00

I wish I could put a title on this blog. If I could, it would be "Fitting in." Anyone who knows how to do this send me a message.

I saw an interesting thing last night while watching tv. Maybe you could characterize me as a "late night flipper." I get in these weird moods every once in a while and flip aimlessly through the channels late at night. I saw this semi-documentary thing on MTV called "True Life." It's a show that documents peoples' lives that fit under a certain theme. The first one I saw was called, "I don't fit in." There was one guy who was a glam rocker, who basically wore girl pants, high heels, a pink scarf, and poofed out hair all in the name of rock n roll (very interesting..). Another girl was contemplating joining a convent (a house or building where a bunch of Catholic nuns live together) and was going to have to give up her friends and dating. Another girl was the only black girl (this is the term she used) in this small community in Pennsylvania and she felt ashamed for her skin color. Three really interesting situations.

Watching this got me thinking about fitting in, and about people. There are so many people who feel lonely or feel like they have no real place in society or no real friends or no group to belong to. I remember all too well what that felt like. I was the nerdy awkward guy you used to pick on in school. My heart goes out to everyone everywhere who is feeling this way. I wish there was some way to communicate to everyone that Jesus can heal their broken heart. The church in many ways has become a place where certain people don't belong. To represent a God who welcomes everyone as they are and create a church environment that everyone can't feel welcome in is terrible. Sometimes we convince ourselves that some people don't want to be saved, but we are wrong. If everyone really knew what being welcomed into God's family was like, they would come running. Instead, they look at the lives of us Christians and see no difference. People everywhere are longing for the peace we have.

If you notice, people of all colors, ages, and social backgrounds can come together through Jesus. If you share a common bond in Him, you can have a lot in common with someone after only meeting them for the first time.

God help us as the church, the body of Christ, to welcome everyone to a place where they can find grace.

2006-12-07T12:19:00.000-06:00

Well, the whole ring-buying event was interesting. I was determined to "wheel and deal" my way to a low price using a few choice tactics such as paying cash and price comparisons between 2 different stores. I guess I got a little full of myself, because God sort of taught me a lesson. I was superconfident that I would be able to do it, and looking back I guess that was something I was trying to do in the flesh, which makes my failure make sense. The reason everything went haywire is because there was only ONE place that had the specific ring Brooke was looking for, so there was no way to fulfill my evil plan for world domination.. um.. I mean my plans to get a lower price. (Wow, I'm nuts.) So we didn't get the price we were looking for, but I praise God that we were able to just buy it and not put it on credit which would put us into debt. Interestingly enough, the last time I tried to get credit for a ring I was declined, which makes me wonder what the qualification process is. She is going to pick up the ring today, and I'm sure I'll be getting an ecstatic call this afternoon about it.

I also wanted to say that H20 last night was interesting, considering someone called out "Yee haw!" during our rendition of "Everything Glorious" by David Crowder, and J.R. was so sick we (the band) were on emergency alert to run up there and play in case he had to run and hurl. But congrats to J.R. for keeping his stomach contents in. Next week we are playing the carol of the bells (some of you might not know that name but it is on the stupid Garmin GPS device commercials) , which should be very fun, if not disastrous. Jeff had on jeans that were super-tight last night too, which he decided to mention to everyone in the band very proudly. Maybe he's going to grow his hair out and hair spray it and join Whitesnake or something. One can only speculate.

2006-12-04T16:19:00.000-06:00

What a day and age we live in, where we're so disconnected from other people that we need to write things in a blog that millions of people can read and we don't have to stick around for their facial expression or adverse reaction.

I just got some random call at work from some guy asking me if I wanted to join the Marine Corps. Interesting. Not that I'm against the Marines or anything, but I know God's called me to full time ministry and the idea of being a chaplain that is a politically correct puppet spouting the "i'm ok, you're ok" garbage that tickles peoples' itching ears is not a pleasant thought. Seriously those guys are heavily leaned on not to even use Jesus' name in a public prayer service!

..this concludes my random ramblings.

2006-12-01T11:22:00.000-06:00

December already. Where did this year go? I could go on and on about the brevity of life and all of that jazz, but for now, I choose to skip it. Lately, God has been showing me interesting perspectives on myself and where I need to change. I guess I can take comfort in that, knowing that painful processing is better then boring business-as-usual. Plus, change is good. One thing God has showed me recently is getting out of the box and trying new things can be great fun. I've always been sort of adventurous with my food choices, but even more so now. I no longer feel comfortable confining myself to one genre of music, but realize that there's more to life than the stuff I always listen to. Not really sure what else to say about this new direction, but it's interesting to see it happening from a first-person perspective. Wow. The side effects of getting old. I feel like I should be in an old creaky rocking chair out in the sticks somewhere, squinting at the far-away mountains and talking about what things were like "in the good old days." Seriously, I thank God for this introspective moment. But I'm only 24, so I guess as long as God allows it I will have a couple of decades at least.

My wife and I are going to get her Christmas present at the mall tomorrow, where I will be praying fervently to not blow my top when I'm facing stupid drivers and massive crowds of rude people. We're going to be shopping for a ring guard, and for the guys who don't know what that is, it's basically an expensive, diamond-encrusted metal sleeve for a ring. But she's worth every penny. (You know I'm racking up some brownie points this weekend!) I love my wife so much and it's such an undeserved blessing. God has known all along what I have needed in a wife and He has given her to me. Not to mention the beautiful daughter that we have, the most beautiful little girl in the world! (Sorry J.R., I'm very strongly biased. :D)

2006-11-20T10:32:00.000-06:00

I'm convinced it's super-important to reach back into the past every once in a while and remind yourself of the way things used to be. For example, I watched some home videos yesterday and the memories flooded back. There was one when I was 10, another when I was 15. One had me playing guitar. I was good for a year of playing guitar, but horrible compared to now, so that was really encouraging, considering I've had a nagging thought for the past few years that I wasn't really growing in my guitar-related skills. It was interesting to get sort of an insight into my 15-year old mindset, during one of the toughest times of my life. It's so amazing what Jesus has done in the past 9 years, from then until now. I'm blown away. God help us not to take for granted every single blessing we receive from a God who had and has every right to remove everything good from our lives due to our repeated failures and sins. Grace is truly amazing. It's interesting that this post comes during thanksgiving season, when we're supposed to thing about stuff like this. Shouldn't that be every day? I'm guilty of becoming complacent with the things around me and with God Himself. My desire is to find delight in the small things of life and see God where He is, everywhere.

2006-11-07T14:00:00.000-06:00

Hell on earth: the sequel! Duh Duh DUHHHH! Just kidding. No really, I was having a terrible day until about 3 minutes ago. Last night I woke up in the middle of the night with a splitting migraine headache, so I was up for about 2 hours. Then I woke up in a bad mood, and have been grumpy/nappy ever since. I tried to vote, but I'm registered in another county, so they won't let me vote in Shelby county, and it's likely that Tipton won't let me either since I'm a resident of shelby county. UGH! ..but at least I tried. On top of all that, my right eye is swollen almost shut- some kind of freak thing that happens once every month or so, out of nowhere and lasts 24 hours and disappears. So I'm a big grumpy Quasimodo now. All I need is a hump and a bell tower. Please excuse the horrible analogy.

Over and over again, I've been asking myself "why is this happening" and also asking God the same thing. Then a smile came over my face when I realized why. This keeps me from getting too prideful. It keeps me humble, and since God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble, that's a cool position to be in. I feel like such a lunatic for being happy about that, but I guess that's just who I am in Christ. Maybe I've gone sane in a crazy world.

2006-11-02T09:43:00.000-06:00

Wow. Almost another month gone by. I'm so terrible at this.

I just finished reading Islam Unveiled by Ergun and Emir Caner. What a great book. It gives you everything you need to reach out to the muslims around you with the love of Jesus while still respecting their customs and understanding their history and culture. It was an eye-opener. And yet another example of how the media distorts facts into politically-correct lies. The people who say that Islam is really a religion of peace and not hostility (A) don't read the Qu'ran and (B) most likely believe that all religions lead to the same God (C)lack the backbone to speak the truth. Sorry for the scathing remark, but it's true.

Another book I'm almost done with is The Irresistable Revolution by Shane Claiborne. To sum it up with two words- Very Interesting. He has a very different viewpoint than most Christians or even most Americans. I certainly don't agree with everything he writes in this book, but it makes you think a lot about America and what being a Christian is and is not about. One of the lessons I've learned from it i guess would be that if you're not reaching out to your community (including outcasts, poor people, people of different backgrounds/heritages, etc.) then you're missing a big part about what it is to be a Christian and we need to better manage our money here in the big U of A. But the book's funny, because this guy is on the hippie side of Christianity, and it really shows through his writings. He's an activist, and participates in demonstrations and protests and quotes Martin Luther King Jr. and Gandhi and Doris Day and other socio-political activists and gives the whole thing a Christian twist. But I agree with Todd and J.R. that it's a good idea to expose yourself to opinions and perspectives different than your own. This book is the epitome of a different perspective. Wow.

God has been doing interesting things in my life. I'm at a point where I'm asking more questions than I am making assumptions. Also God's sort of training me to trust Him no matter what the circumstances. Good cliche for sunday morning, but to actually do it when nothing makes sense at all and you want to give up is another. But time after time God is faithful and He makes everything work out okay.

Latest news- I got a call 430am this morning from the police. They said that our store had been broken into. So I dragged my sleepy, nappy rear end up there and saw a busted front window and 80+ missing phones inside. What a day. So now we're cleaning up the collateral damage so to speak. I wonder if God didn't allow me to be manager here at this store for this particular reason. Maybe only eternity will tell.

2006-10-03T14:31:00.000-05:00

a-HA! Thought I wouldn't post for another month, did ya?!?!

A lot has been going on lately. Both joyful and painful. I think I'll end on a good note like David did in Psalms.

Work has been interesting lately. I applied for a management position Sept. 8, and found out last week I will not be getting the job. My boss had a lot of great stuff to say about me, but he said I need more management experience. That's the classic catch 22 with management- you need to be in management to get management experience, but you can't get a management job because you have no mangement experience! ..But I understand completely, and, in hindsight, I would be very surprised if I got the job, considering I am pretty green in this particular area. It's depressing, because I had my heart set on it, but I knew it wasn't a done deal. It's just one of those things I have to trust God on. I know that disappointments, failures, delays, etc. are a powerful tool that God uses to make us more like Jesus. Plus, it's like God's gradually placing me in a leadership position, since He knows how much I can handle. I am going to be assistant manager, though, which should bring in some more money. Maybe a house is in the near future. I'm not sure. But it has been an interesting experience. I know God's going to get glory out of it, though.

Oh, the good news! Ahh... what a relief! Sorry, I'm getting dramatic. I saw this video from Promise Keepers called Dust (I think the video company is Nooma). There was a pastor from a church in Grand Rapids, Michigan that's one of the fastest growing churches in the U.S. But he shared an incredible perspective on Jesus that a friend had shared with him. I won't do it the justice it deserves, but here's the basics:
We need to look at the Bible through the historical context. In first-century Hebrew culture, kids around age 6 would start schooling, where they would memorize the Torah by age 10- that's Genesis through Deuteronomy! FIVE books! Then most of the kids would go and apprentice with their parents and learn a skill. But the best students would continue on with more schooling, including memorizing the REST of the Hebrew Old Testament- they would have had Genesis -> Malachi memorized by around age 14-15! Then most of these students would go learn a trade with their parents, but the best of the best would apply to apprentice with a rabbi. The rabbi would grill them with questions about the Torah, the oral tradition, etc. If the kid failed the test, the rabbi would tell him to go learn a trade with his parents. If the kid passed, the rabbi would say, "Follow me." The kid would leave EVERYTHING, his parents, his friends, his hometown, and spend his LIFE learning from his rabbi and trying to be like his rabbi.

So where does this historical evidence fit in? One of the places is in Matthew chapter 4. Jesus calls Peter and Andrew and they immediately drop their nets and follow him. James and John immediately drop their nets, leave their father, and follow him. Why is this important? If they were out fishing, they weren't following another rabbi, which means they didn't make the cut. They weren't good enough. When Jesus said, "Follow Me." What he really meant was, "I believe in you. I believe you can be like me." Jesus took a group of average joes and changed the world. THAT's why Peter walked on the water. He believed he could be like his rabbi, Jesus. Jesus not only believed in them, He believes in us. He believes we can be like Him.

Needless to say, this is mind-blowing and so cool. Yet another reason why I will absolutely love seminary. I might have to use a cane to walk through the halls, but God will get me there sooner or later.

2006-09-20T14:25:00.000-05:00

Haven't posted in a few days. Work can be frustrating sometimes. Not that I don't like my job, I do, because I get to help people everyday. It's just that retail is a 24-7 job. Like having to work when you're supposed to be playing in the worship band. *sigh*. Let me end my tirade there. God is awesome and in control, whether I'm in a good mood or not. That is comforting.

One of the things I'm learning (or rather God is teaching) is where to draw the line on certain issues, avoiding both legalism and hedonism and trying to find the "happy medium." Wherever that is, I'm not sure yet. But I refuse to stop and ask for directions. No seriously, I'm praying that God will show me through His word and through other circumstances.

2006-09-15T12:16:00.000-05:00

I turned 24 yesterday. And what a day it was. I am absolutely blown away about how awesome and incredible God is and how much He has blessed me- way beyond what I deserve.

I spent the whole day with my beautiful wife. It was great to have some alone time, and if you have kids, you'll understand. I slept in until 8am, which is sleeping in for me, since most mornings I'm up between 5 and 6am. Ate lunch at Chik-Fil-A, which made me very happy. Brooke bought me the coolest thing ever to hit the DDR universe- it's called Dance Factory, and you can dance to your own CD's, which I love because I can enjoy the recreational and entertainment qualities of DDR without compromising and listening to secular music. My Dad and Theresa also surprised us with a computer, something we have been needing a long time. In case you're wondering, I post these blogs from work in my down time.

But as aforementioned, God has allowed these circumstances to create an attitude of reflection and evaluation and I have a long way to go. I am excited because God's not done with me yet.

2006-09-13T17:49:00.000-05:00

Tommorrow is my birthday. 24. Wow. I could almost be Jack Bauer. Yeah I know, terrible joke. I'm reflecting a lot about my life and basically, I am nowhere close to where I want to be. God has already revealed my purpose and future as husband, father, and pastor, but He has yet to fill in the rest of the details. So I watch and wait and God has continually chastened me for my idiocy and rebellious ways. But I am closer to God than I have been any other year. Not because of personal effort, but because of the character building God has been doing through hardships in my life. A few of the previously rough edges are smoother, but most are still jagged. I am a little bit wiser I guess. This is really a humbling experience. Not really a valley, but somewhere between the valley and the mountain. I thank God for the painfully real perspective and know that it will produce some changes. I can't imagine what lost people hang on to when things get hectic around them. What a hope we have in Jesus.
Sorry this has been rambling, but I am so tired right now I could go to sleep on my countertop here at work. Been a long few days.

2006-09-12T13:20:00.000-05:00

Boy, I'm terrible with this whole blog thing. Been a whole week since the last one.

Last night was really weird. Pretty typical day, as far as the events. I was extra "industrious" yesterday, and I got a whole lot accomplished at work like cleaning the store and getting boxes ready to ship. So I was a little more tired, but business as usual. But right around 9pm, Brooke said she was having anxiety and didn't know why, and I did too. Now as a side note, anxiety is something I deal with on a daily basis sometimes, but medicine helps somewhat. It's a long story. It's my testimony. Anyway I digress. So I was just thinking it was a regular anxiety attack with no real reason behind it, but since BOTH of us had it, I stronglyl believe that God was trying to tell us something. Well we called family and friends to see if everyone was ok, and I prayed about it and read the Bible and re-read some parts of "How To Hear From God" by Charles Stanley. Well I was laying down on my stomach on our bed doing this, and I fell asleep (long day.) Well it pretty much went away for both of us by then. So we're totally clueless as to what that's about. Maybe it was a demonic attack. But I strongly believe that God was trying to tell us something. I still feel a bit of it today, and I'm not sure if it's the God-given anxiety or just plain ol'anxiety about the anxiety I had last night. Wow, that was an interesting sentence. I can say that I personally got something out of that. I really sought after God, and you can't leave God's presence unchanged. So I feel this peace and this anxiety at the same time. I promise I'm not schizophrenic. But God is awesome.

Charles Stanley says in that book I was reading that when God was about to tell him something, God would give him a restless spirit to make him seek Him. Maybe that's it. I'm excited about the great God we serve and the incredible huge plans he has for our lives. Not because we're anything big or special but because God is incredible.

2006-09-05T10:30:00.000-05:00

God is worthy.

Another standalone phrase to summarize this post. This is the #1 reason we as Christians need to serve whole-heartedly, love like we mean it, and give our lives to others to make a spiritual investment.

I write this in a moment of humility. Today I started thinking about how incredible God is and how wretched we are (I am). I'm glad I am having one of these moments, because it's been a while. I guess you can call it losing focus. You know how when you stare at an object in the foreground, everything else blurs, and when you stare at an object in the background, everything in the foreground blurs? Try it- it's a perfect illustration of an incredible spiritual principle:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

It's true! The more we look at our daily circumstances and consume ourselves with them, the more our spiritual life becomes distant/blurry. Conversely, the more we look at Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, completely omnipotent and sovereign over all things, the more our daily circumstances dim and become secondary to what's really important:
GOD IS WORTHY. HE DESERVES EVERYTHING WE HAVE.
(and so much more.)

Truly, no true happiness can be found without being in a personal, intimate relationship with our Lord Jesus Christ and being in the center of His will. Not that I stay there, or that I've been there a lot, but I know at least this moment I am there. Describing it is beyond words.

2006-09-01T09:41:00.000-05:00

I am tired.

Thought I'd let that statement stand by itself. It is the ringing theme for the morning. Either that or, "I'm all cracked out on coca-cola." Now you see why I chose the former.

Anyway, we stayed open late last night to try to make quota. I got home about 10:45 and went straight to bed. It almost feels like I haven't even left work. We might not have made quota, but I think God is showing me something about follow-through. I was determined to make a strong effort, and even when I wanted to go home, I stayed because at least I could say our failure to make quota wasn't due to a lack of effort on our part. I guess it's part of being "a cut above" as a Christian too. Too often we see lost people working harder than God's people. I'm pointing the finger at myself too. We take the concept of God taking care of all our needs and then we run all the way with it, becoming inactive/lazy/etc. And I'm NOT tooting my own horn here. This is here for me to read from time to time too. Just something I think God is showing me.

The Christian life is interesting. It doesn't depend on feelings. It doesn't run on personal energy/stamina. To lead is to serve everyone. The prescribed method for revenge is kindness. Personal effort does not increase or decrease one's standing with God. What an exciting mystery. I look forward to figuring this out for however long God has me here on this earth.

2006-08-31T15:25:00.000-05:00

Last night was great in H20(high school worship service). Everything went relatively smoothly, except for some technical issues with my gear. Apparently, I have a loose volume knob on my guitar and it's causing my sound to cut off intermittently. Pretty freaky stuff when you're in the middle of a song.

Today is an interesting day. We need to do 6 new activations at work to make our monthly quota. And its 3:24 pm right now. So it will be a miracle if God chooses to bless the next 2.5 hours with 6 activations. Or it might be a late night- I'm determined to get this done. Oh yeah, the real interesting part. I got a speeding ticket today. I don't claim innocence at all. It was a humbling experience, to say the least.

But God is great, no matter what is going on. I don't say that because I feel that way, in fact I feel pretty blah. But I KNOW that God is sovereign over all things and He's working everything out for the good of those who love Him.

2006-08-28T15:00:00.000-05:00

I am convinced more and more each day that there are so many Christians that have no real idea what the actual church is all about. It's not about a building, or a preacher, or special effects. It's not about living this pseudo-perfect lifestyle in front of other Christians and saying you're "doing good" when asked. It's this real, raw, incredible thing that can happen in a house or a back alley, or out in the mountains somewhere. It's not composed of perfect citizens with no sins or struggles in their lives. It's composed of people who love Jesus. Not just say it, but live it. People who want to bring God glory. People who have real struggles and real trials and real heartbreaks in their lives. People who are eternally changed because of a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and know they are nothing without Him. This is so different from the traditional perception of the church. God's people need to wake up and realize that time's running out and people are dying and going to hell and if no one else is going to do anything about it, then we will. We need to affect our culture instead of embrace it.

God help us all. Pray for the body of Christ. Lift each other up with encouraging words. Hold each other accountable. These are dark days and we have the Light within us.

2006-08-26T12:27:00.000-05:00

Today is a strange day. I feel strange, and I'm not sure why. Stress, I guess. Even though serving in church is a joy and a privelege, it is stressful sometimes. I actually have two sunday school lessons to prepare, since I'm covering Todd's 8am discipleship class and teaching my normal 10:45 class. I'm confident that God will show me what He wants me to teach.

And since we're on the subject of God's direction in teaching, let me go ahead and tell you about last week. It's a great example of the benefits of obedience, even though many times my life seems to be about the perils of disobedience. We saw the movie End of the Spear on Saturday night. It was INCREDIBLE. That's all I'll say. If you've seen it, then you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, then rent it or better yet buy it, because I can almost guarantee that if you love Jesus, then you'll love this movie. But let me catch myself before I give the plot away.

Anyway, we saw the movie and it blew us away. I already had made plans to make my lesson on another topic, but God had other things in mind. I had been having a feeling that day that God wanted me to talk about something besides what I had planned on talking about. Sure enough, I read that day's corresponding proverb and verses were jumping off of the page at me. Different verses than usual. In general, I think that verses that stand out are ones that have a personal application to where we're at at the time. But these verses had to deal with the poor. So God gave me this whole lesson about the two sides of poverty: material and spiritual. It went over great with the kids, and another adult that serves there every week told me that the kids opened up more than she had ever seen them do before. So glory to God for His great lesson! I was so humbled to be used in such a way. And it was yet another confirmation that this is what God has called me to do. I so look forward to being a youth pastor. I'm just waiting on God to pull it all together. I know He has to knock off a lot of rough edges and prepare me for what He has in store for me. Waiting has been a character-building exercise, to say the least.

2006-08-24T10:22:00.000-05:00

...and by the way, I thank God for my beautiful wife and my beautiful baby girl. They are the silver lining in any cloudy sky for me.

2006-08-24T09:49:00.000-05:00

WOW. It's been almost a whole month since I posted last. This serves as proof of how crazy life can be sometimes.

On August 6th, we flew to Connecticut to spend time with my mom and my stepdad and some family. Connecticut is beautiful. I spent 15 years of my life there, and it still feels like home, even after living elsewhere for 7 years. We had some awesome God-given opportunities to witness to two of my friends while we were there. Many of the people that live in the Bible belt have no idea how secularized life is up there. I mean, the Christian music section in Wal-Mart is half the size! Must not be a lot of demand. People in general keep their "religious views" to themselves. Churches are few and far between. If my research is correct, there's only 2 churches running over 1000 on Sunday morning service in the whole state. What a mission field.

But it was great to go up there. It was so relaxing, sitting out on the screened in porch in my old house, having my quiet time in the morning. It was great to unwind after the recent pressures at work.

I'm not sure if I have talked about this yet, but I have been placed in a position of authority at my job. Not a manager, just in charge. I know, it's complicated. But there might be management opportunities in the future if I do a good job. If not, this is great leadership prep for ministry! It's amazing the things I don't know about leadership. I've had to rely heavily on my dad, who's been in management-type jobs since he was in the army 7 years ago or so. So naturally, he's a huge database of management info (no, I'm not calling him huge. :D )

So getting my feet wet in "pre-management" has been stressful, mostly because I've been stubbornly trying to do it on my own and not doing it God's way as much as I should. But it's improving after only a month, and I have positive expectations for the future.

I also was sick this week, which was partially due to a virus and partially because I stayed up all night Saturday night, which really messes with my immune system. I haven't thanked God for my health in a while, which I should. I thanked Him this week. There's a lesson in everything.

Hopefully I'll be better about posting more regularly. Pray for me.

2006-07-28T14:55:00.000-05:00

Ok, the last post was really weird. It was from like 4 or 5 days ago, because I saved it as a draft but did not post it until today.

I learned something very interesting the other night. Something that really should be preached from the pulpit of every church in America. After we get saved, we have this incomplete understanding of God's grace. We think that if we try really hard, then we can live the Christian life successfully, putting too much confidence in our flesh. Then we fall into sin, many times the same type of sin that we expected to be instantly delivered from when we received Jesus into our heart. Here's the crazy part: God allows a situation where we are struggling with our flesh and failing continuously/repeatedly to teach us that theres NO WAY we can live the Christian life on our own, it needs to be Christ living through us. The only way to come out victorious in a situation like this is to yield to God and allow Him to live through you. Needless to say it blew my mind.

Work's been okay lately. That's all I will say about work. I desire so badly to be in the ministry (full-time) and I know that every Christian is called to ministry, but to be able to devote my life to Jesus without having to work around a job schedule will be awesome. I just have to do the best I can with what God's given me while I can do it, until God opens those doors. Certainly an exercise in patience.

2006-07-24T18:06:00.000-05:00

Here's a post from last week:

Been a while since the last post.

Been grumpy lately.
Stress has a way of getting under my skin. I know I'm not alone in this. This is where my immaturity as a believer really shows through. It wasn't a frustration generated by anything specific, just a general, annoying frustration eating at my patience continually. A.K.A. a growing experience. I had to remind myself again how feelings are secondary to the truth of God's word.

Forgot to pray for something crazy to not happen on Wednesday. We almost didn't have the sound set up in time. But God worked it all out.

My wife's birthday was on friday. We had a great time, and it was so awesome to go on a romantic evening with her, even though we weren't alone the whole time. We went to see the play Little Women in covington. It made me want to act in a play again.

The air also went out on friday in our apartment. Talk about craziness. But we had already made plans for Bekah to be at her aunt's house so God orchestrated it perfectly. We spent the weekend with my Dad and Theresa, which was very cool.

Went to a birthday party on saturday. Had a great time. Food. Friends. Fun. Still sore from all the sports. Learned that play-doh can't be set on fire (long story).
Dan Nelson got blasted with a water balloon on his chest. It created an immediate bruise. Super funny.

Really frustrated saturday night/sunday morning. Ripped a contact and stumbled around blind all day. Had to go and pray during the sermon on sunday because I was so frustrated. Just generally frustrated. You know, when circumstances get out of control and instead of turning to God, you get angry. But as mentioned before, I can be a big idiot sometimes. But I had a good prayer time with God. He blessed sunday school, and we had lots of fun.

Served in nursery. had a great time.

i know its kinda cliff notes but had to post something.

2006-07-19T13:09:00.000-05:00

Today is a good day.

My Dad made a comment to me last night about prayer. He said it's not about asking for help, but asking for God do do it. I guess he means asking God to live through you. So I gave it all to God in prayer this morning. Everything. Surrender. I believe he's on to something, because the peace I felt ever since I prayed that has been incredible. I really get excited when stuff like this is happening, because I know God is teaching me something.

Well, I haven't given a disclaimer in a few weeks, so here goes: I'm not what people would call a prayer warrior. I pray every day, but not nearly as much as I should. Just being honest. My morning prayer time is the longest. I can't say a lot of things about my prayer life, but what I can say is that I've learned to be honest. Big words won't get you anywhere. Neither will a super-religious attitude. I've learned that you pray just like you are, and seeking God from where you're really at instead of being anything but real. I also want to say that I have so much more to learn about prayer. About many things, for that matter. That's one of the things that really excite me about going to seminary. Good solid Biblical answers to my questions without having to question an author's motives or research their denominational beliefs.

I am excited about tonight, since (Lord willing) I will be able to play in the worship band tonight at ignite. It's been over a month since I last played, and it's going to be awesome to worship in a band setting again. I need to pray that nothing crazy happens too, since that is almost a weekly occurrence.

2006-07-17T14:31:00.000-05:00

Today is a blah day. Blah. Gross.

I'm so glad that feelings are irrelevant when it comes to intimacy with God. Even though I am having "one of those days" I have a peace in the background of all of this chaos, knowing the Lord is with me.

Sunday school went wonderful yesterday, and God deserves 100% of the credit. I went up there and prayed beforehand to invite Him to meet with us there and speak through me, and He honored my prayers. There was an uncanny fluidity to my speech, instead of the normal stuttering and muttering that comprises my lessons. But maybe I'm too hard on myself. Either way, God blessed my total lack of preparation and empowered me through the Holy Spirit to be a bold speaker. Not sure of why I didn't think of praying beforehand earlier. Oh yeah, I guess it was because I wasn't interested in putting 100% effort in. Gotta be honest. So in summary, I'm an idiot again, and God is incredible.

Saturday night was interesting. It was the first time in a while that I was able to hang out with friends besides at camp last week. Halo rules. We had a blast. I think it's awesome that God knows what we need specifically when we need it. I have been working a whole lot lately and it was good to just unplug for a while.

And in the midst of all of this, there is a hint of another calling. An outward calling to ministry. Something God-sized. I'm still trying to figure out if it's God's will. So the mystery continues.

No matter what, it's still an incredible joy to be here.

I love you Jesus.

2006-07-14T12:05:00.000-05:00

The past few days have been incredible. I went on the trip to minister to students and build relationships with them (and that certainly took place), but what I didn't expect is that God had a specific word for me. You see, a few posts ago I told you about the monumental decision I was faced with. Ever since then, I have looked outward for God's call to ministry, as in away from where I live right now. But God's message for me was that I have been so busy looking for God's call elsewhere that I have neglected the ministry that He has already given me here.

The message was so clear I knew it was from God. That message came with a renewed passion for the spiritual growth of the students in my class and also a passion to build lasting relationships with them and really put forth an effort in growing our class and ministering to the ones who already come every week. I feel like such an idiot, and I know I have not been a good steward of the gifts and talents God has given me in youth ministry. So from here on out, my focus is to have fun, captivating lessons that are spiritually sound and are produced by hard work and much prayer and Bible study.

Nothing has become any clearer as far as God's direction for my life; all I know is what I need to be doing while I wait on Him. I am happy to say that, although the past few days it has been difficult due to the craziness of camp, the very first time I had a chance to be alone with God I grabbed it and very much enjoyed it. This is a time of trials and some pain, but I am confident once again the Lord will work it all out.

Someone I know said it the best, and I echo it: "I am a huge loser and an even greater sinner, but Christ is my life and thats pretty much all I'm living for."

How great is our God.

2006-07-08T12:43:00.000-05:00

Pain is interesting. It's a tool that God uses to conform us to the image of His Son. A divine chisel to chip off the rough edges. Pain is a tough schoolmaster.

Last night I got some news that really upset me. In the midst of this incredible journey of growing closer to God, this situation landed squarely in front of me, staring me straight in the face, challenging everything that has happened in the past weeks.

Now, I must choose to praise God and seek Him even though my feelings lead me otherwise. This is where the proverbial rubber meets the road. This is yet another situation where I must wait on God's direction, which is certainly a situation that God is using to build character, since I am the kind of guy who needs to know yesterday. Not to mention the fact that I work in a customer service oriented job, which means that even though today is a crazy day I still need to be friendly. I'm a friendly guy, but sometimes it takes some effort.

I'm confident that God is going to work all of this out, and I am praying a lot about this. We serve a big God, bigger than any problem that may come our way.
Certainly the God who spoke things into existence can handle the problems of His children. I feel better just thinking about that.

My next post will probably be in about a week. We're going to Destin FL for a few days.

2006-07-07T11:45:00.000-05:00

ok, here goes the first post. First I'd like to say that, although I am aware of other people I know creating their own blogs, my motive is not to follow the trend, but to provide an insight into my own life that would in turn help other Christians live for Jesus. Another disclaimer: I am not putting myself on a pedestal for all to see as a wonderful model of Christ-centered living for the world to follow. The only true example to follow is Jesus Christ himself, the standard we as Christians should all look up to.

I've been saved almost five years now. Only in the last month have I even started to grasp what a dynamic, intimate relationship is like with Jesus. Truth be told, I've wasted a lot of time. Time I could have been using to grow closer to Jesus.

On Father's day, I was faced with a very important decision that would affect my call to full time ministry. The sheer enormity of the decision left me no choice but to run to God for answers. Over the next weeks, I have been more and more consumed by the urge to pray and to pour God's word into my mind and read every Christian book I can get my hands on. Prayer and my quiet time have finally become a priority, and I have become more consistent than I have in years. No matter what God says to my wife and I about this decision, these circumstances have served a greater purpose: drawing me closer to God than I have ever been.

I want to be clear that I'm not boasting or bragging at all. This whole situation is both a testimony to God's grace and goodness and my idiocy for being lukewarm for so long.

Just like the old hymn "turn your eyes upon Jesus", things of this world that brought me pleasure have become stale and unappealing. Truly nothing compares to the incredible experience of spending time with Jesus. Nothing.